


My hand slipped

by xiphiathepeacefullsword



Category: Undertale
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, F/M, Female Reader, Horror, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possesiveness, Soulmates, Swapfell, They're all crazy, alot of papyrus, alot of sans, free form, is that still sin?, it's funny, lets do this, lets get this bread, skeleton harem
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-17 14:21:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18100241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiphiathepeacefullsword/pseuds/xiphiathepeacefullsword
Summary: I was daydreaming and my hand slipped.And i wanted to write a harem.





	1. is this the real life?

Boredom

BOREDOM

NEVERENDING  _BOREDOM_

You had been studying for two and half hours and you still couldn't tell if this was physics math or language arts. You banged your forehead into the textbook in front of you desperately trying to give yourself a concussion.

Since you're parents forced you into college most of your adult life had been a cycle of wake up, go to school, come home, eat and do it again the next day.

It was so BORING.

You had a huge exam two weeks from now that may very well effect your grade for the rest of the year. And maybe even the next.  
That's how big a test it was.

You didn't see the point of college when you're parents forbade you from working at all.

' _I'll have no daughter of mine doing the work of the Commonwealth'_

Your father would say.

Is it really that crazy to want to be self sufficient? Ah who were you kidding you were lucky that they even let you move out.

Yeah they were a pretty stuck up family. But they were yours

You remove you're glasses and sat them on you're desk beside you're textbooks and pinched the bridge of your nose.

You sit your face on your fist and looked around your room.

You should probably catch up on chores.

There were books littering the place, on you're wardrobe next to the window, your nightstand, under your bed on the vanity you never used, that was tucked into the far corner of your bedroom.

And that chair. You know that one chair. It stacked as tall as you with dirty clothes.

While you were quite proud of yourself self, that reminded you that you needed to do laundry too.

You could afford a pretty nice place, you know without showing off at all. Considering your monthly allowance could buy you a house or two, it was difficult  _not_ to. It was a four bedroom house, it was large by normal standards, but your parents thought you lived in a hovel.

It was a nice neighborhood, and you had the best housemate in existence. He moved in a year after you , and you had been best friends with Malcolm ever since. Not to mention you had a crush on him the size of the Titanic

With that thought, you sat up from your cross legged position and stretched. 

ok Time for a break. You walked towards your bedroom door when your phone buzzed in your back pocket.

As you swung your door open you read the message from an unknown number.

 

_Knock knock_

 

 

 


	2. Number Neighbors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You talk to your "number Neighbor"
> 
> And visit one of your dad's malls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what people actually liked it?

Pff what? Who is this?

 _ **you:** Uh_,  _who's there?_

 **Unknown** :  _number neighbor_

 **you:**   _number neighbor...who?_

 **Unknown:** _number neighbor you_

that was positively and utterly _awful_  .

 **you:** _dude that was horrible_

_im barfing_

**Unknown:**   _oof_

_well they cant all be winners_

**you:** _whas a number neighbor anyway_

 **Unknown:** _your phone number is just one more than mine._

 **you:** _so you texted me? why?_

_not that i mind or anything._

**Unknown:** _meh_

_i was bored_

hehe

 **you** : _i can definitely relate to that_

 **Unkown:** _oh yeah, wyd?_

 **you:** _ive been studying for 2 hours now._

_i have a test in 2 weeks,  dont even know what subject this is._

_i was just bout to take a break_

**Unkown:** _what a coincidence, im takin a break right now_

 **you:** _o yeah, you at work right now?_

 **Unknown:** _nah, helpin m bro pack. were movin l8r this week_

_hes esatic about it_

_real classy place, big enough for my whole family_

**you:** _ah family man are we?_

_at least i assume ur a man_

_you a girl?_

**Unknown:** _nah._

_you?_

you send him a picture of chicks with guns.

no literally, two baby chickens with pistols.

 **you** :  _as female as they get_

_anyhoo, im headin off to the mall._

_text ya later?_ _(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞_

  **Unkown:** _lookin forward to it :)_

 

you walked out into the hall clutching your phone and made your way towards Malcolm's room. you barged into his room (boundaries, what boundaries?) , and as expected, he was bent over his computer desk cursing out some guy on a game.

"I swear to GOD if you get me killed I will fucking CASTRATE you and your whole FUCKING FAMILY!"

talk about  raging jeez.

"Heya i'm on my way to the mall, you coming with?"

Malcolm swiveled halfway around in his desk chair and glanced at you briefly before turning his attention back to his game

"no not now i'm on a streak and this guy is FUCKING IT UP!" that last part was directed to the gamer unfortunate enough to be part of Malcolm's team. "YOU  _LOSER_   WHY ARE YOU EVEN PLAYING THIS GAME YOU  _SUCK!"_ oof, bless that poor guys soul.

"well alrighty, then.... I'M TAKIN' YOUR SHIRT!" YEET- you snatched a black shirt from Malcolm's dresser. it was one of his favorites, had little green aliens on the front and on the back in glow in the dark letters it said 'out of this world'

 

you absolutely loved it.

 

"WAIT WHICH SHIRT!?" he turned all the way towards you, letting his character in the game be eliminated "SHIT!"

you switched out your shirt out for his (oh please hes seen you naked plenty of times you're bffs) and skidded out of the room leaving behind only a simple "YOU KNOW WHICH SHIRT!" and slid down the banister. you could hear a clamor upstairs and could tell he was tumbling over himself to keep you from leaving the house with his shirt on.

through a fit of giggles you snatched your keys off the table and bolted out the door and into your drive way. just as you unlocked and opened your car door you could see Malcolm in the door way, headphones around his neck in his pajama pants and socks.

"GET BACK HERE YOU FIEND!"

you shut your car door and shoved your key into the ignition. the car started and stuck your head out of the window.

"SORRY MAN, I JUST THINK THIS SHIRT IS ABSOLUTELY  _STELLAR_!!"

all you could hear when you drove away cackling was Malcolm making an unholy screeching sound.

\-----------

 you really had no reason to be here. it was like when you get up and check your refrigerator every ten minuets, expecting something new to pop up. you knew nothing interesting would happen, but there was no harm in checking right?

you entered a shop in the mall you absolutely adored, all the clothes there were just your style, oversized, punny and comfy with some form fitting stuff thrown in here and there, a great palce to shop for party clothes. you would come here with Malcolm the first few weeks you met him, to buy him joke covers clothes he swears up and down that he hates.

you knew he loved em'.

when you entered the store something felt... different. important.

and the closer you walked towards an ongoing commotion the more important you felt. you didn't catch all of it, just the end, as you stuck your head around a particularly edgy dressed mannequin you heard the most ear splitting, nails on a chalkboard voice and knew exactly who it was.

"I demand you leave this premises at on-"

"OH MY  **GOD** you AGAIN?! I told you to stop coming here all you do is YELL at people!"

the culprit of the commotion was a fifty-something year old woman that was always at our store yelling about something or other. you didn't understand why you didn't just have her banned for life. the victim of the ladys complaints this time was an adorable little monster, 

dressed in black and red from head to toe with gold studs and spikes placed here and there, and sporting an edgy scar over his left eye..hole? his face was roundish,(and was scowling at you) but he had a small upside down heart placed int the center of his face.

what kind of monster is this?

"these monsters disturbed me! I want them gone!"

them? oh would've look at that there's another, leaned over a clothing display near the the dispute was a much taller, lankier monster, with similar holes in his face, and the same black and red color scheme, a nice orange turtle neck and some of the tightest black jeans you had  _ever_ seen. (You had to hold in a laugh at them)

He looked kind of like one of those plastic skeletons you see around in October.

..

Click! They're skeletons, that explained all the holes!

"Oh please what could they have possibly done to you to be thrown out?"

"He-well they-it-"

"See, if you can't remember it wasn't that important, now go buy your shit and get out AND STAY OUT THIS TIME!"

"But they have  _fangs!"_

"  _i_ don't care if they have three heads and a _tail_ that doesn't mean you can be an ass for no reason! Now shoo, shooshooshoo!"

The woman begrudgingly pursed her lips and trudged on farther into the store.

Old bitch....

Maybe that was harsh.

You silently apologize for your thought towards the woman as you turned to the monsters before you.

"Sorry bout that, that lady's always in here causing a problem, it's aways something with her, I pity her children."

The shorter skeleton scoffed.

"BOLD OF YOU TO THINK ANYONE COULD TOLERATE HER ENOUGH TO MATE WITH HER IN THE FIRST PLACE."

First off, loud, second,

"Ouch burn."

"TELL ME HUMAN, DO YOU WORK AT THIS ESTABLISHMENT?"

 "Nah my dad owns the place."

"your old man owns the store?"

You flinched slightly at the taller skeletons sudden inquiry, he'd been so quiet your forgotten he was there.

"Well actually he owns the mall, not the store"

"You're kidding."

"LIES!'

You always enjoy the reaction when people found out how well off you were.

"Nah dude I'm serious, He had this place built and one day this particular store opened up, I love it here."

"TCH," the shorter skeleton spoke again "WELL I HATE IT HERE!"

"Oof tell me how you really feel!" you said, grinning wide at the displeased skeleton.

"IM SERIOUS, I WASS DRAGGED HERE BY THIS MUTT," he emphasized that he was talking about the other skeleton by kicking him in the shin with a heeled boot, earning a small 'shit' from him "THINKING I WOULD FIND SOMETHING ACTUALLY STYLISH".

 ~~ ~~ _You look like the personification of a hot topic, you're one to talk about style._

he looked around the shop in distaste,

"BUT THIS PLACE IS FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH SOME OF THE MOST AWFUL PUNS IN EXISTENCE!"

The tall one piped up again, "btw, I like your shirt."

You puff out your chest proudly "well thank you very much, this shirt just rattles my bones." You ended that sentence with finger guns

"That was awful" that's what the tall one said, but there was a note of humor in his voice.

The shorter one however, did not enjoy you quip

"THAT'S IT! WE ARE LEAVING NOW! COME MUTT" 

And with that the tyrant marched out. The taller skeleton shrugged waved goodbye, and left without another word.

..huh

That was actually kind of fun!

 

  

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would you guys want another pov or something?


	3. The monster mash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huh.  
> Sanses new friend is a human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit, I had some writers block on this chapter, so I'm not sure if it's any good.

"SANS WHAT IN ASGORE'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?"

sans cracked opened up an eye socket an stared at his tall brother peering over him.

"not much bro, just takin' a break, i've been workin' by self  _down to the bone._ "

"FIRST OFF, THAT JOKE IS ATROCIOUS AND OVER USED. SECOND, IF I RECALL CORRECTLY, YOU'VE BEEN ON BREAK FOR THE PAST  _THREE HOURS!_ GET YOUR LAZY PELVIS OFF THE COUCH AND PACK UP YOUR ROOM!"

"bro-"

"NO. GO.  **NOW**."

sans unceremoniously slouched up the stairs at his brothers command, onced he reached the top of the stairs he shouted down to his brother" THROW ME A BONE HERE PAPS!" something in living room shattered, whoops, "SANS I WILL LEAVE YOU HERE WHEN WE MOVE!"

heh heh, dab.

looking out over the pig sty that was his bedroom, sans sucked his teeth and sighed.

made more sense to him to leave most of his stuff here, since most of it was just socks and trash. he would need to find a way to bring his tornado with him though. sentimental value.

he threw an old hoodie he never wore into a cardboard box, followed by a single sock, and then flopped down his bed (since they'd gotten to the surface papyrus refused to let him continue sleeping on the old mattress he had underground. said it was ' _unsightly'_ ) and pulled his phone from his pocket. that was enough work for now. Time to see what the good old neighbors up to

 **mr.Rogers** _**:** _ _hey_

 **helloneighbor** :  _hay's for horses_

 

nice, dad joke.

 **helloneighbor:** _sup potato boi_

 **mr.Rogers:** _nm, just seein' if anything was happening  over on our end_

_*your_

**helloneighbor:** _actually_

_The craziest thing happened earlier. There's this old lady at a store I like and she's always BITCHING!_

*cough*edge*cough*

_today she was beating up one these two ADORABLE monsters,_

_And you're gonna love this,_

_For having FANGS_

_I'm not gonna demand you leave the store CUZ your tacky bleach blonde wig is sideways._

she talks about the encounter like shes not a monster.

...

Oh.

_OH._

Don't know why he never thought to ask you about this before. Sans hastily skidded his stylist around his phones keyboard.

 **mr.Rogers:** _U a human?_

 **helloneighbor:** _last time I checked._

 **mr.Rogers:** _oh thas cool._

_You like em?_

_Monsters I mean_

seemed by the way she talked about the monsters at the store she was pretty cool with them. But there was always room to doubt with humans. 

Guess it was fun while it lasted.

 **helloneighbor:** _hecks yeah_

_Since they came up here they spiced the place up a bit_

_Made it a bit more 'magical'_

wait for real?

Seriously? 

Was he being pranked, where are the cameras?

What's the chance this random stranger was willing to message him awful puns back and forth, even after they found out he was a monster.

Apparently there are seven billion people up on the surface. He did the math.

Yeah one in a million.

 **mr.Rogers:** _ok, this might be weird_

_But I'm a monster_

_:P_

**helloneighbor:** _ur fukin me_

_Dude thas 3 in one day!_

_it's nice to meet you monster man!_

**Mr.Rogers:** _damnit now I'm gonna have monster mash stuck in my head all day._

**helloneighbor:** _youre welcome_

 **"** SANS HAVE YOU STARTED PACKING YET? BLACKS HOME AND WANTS YOU DOWNSTAIRS FOR DINNER!"

Sans shuddered at the thought of having to choke down blacks glitter cover charcoal-excuse for cooking.

 **mr.Rogers:** _alright_

_Gotta go shobe some charred mystery substance down my throat._

_Pretty sure the guy who cooked it is out to kill me_

**helloneighbor:** _oof, can't relate_

_I survive off of cup noodles and Twinkies_

_Sometimes my housemate forces healthy shit on me._

_Anyways, g'night buddiboi_

and that was was it. He wasn't blocked or degraded for being a monster.

A genuine smile split across his face. Though he was on his way down to his inevitable demise, he felt happy-ish. He'd made a friend today.

He opened his ned room door, and began mumbling the lyrics to the monster mash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He did the mash
> 
> I have a Tumblr. You know if you want...to see it :)  
> I draw on it sometimes.
> 
> It's called xiphiathepeacefullsword


	4. Jee thanks alot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus likes for people to show gratitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listen to Dry bar comedy while I write these

 

"so you would not believe what happened at that mall today." Russ was the first to start conversation at dinner that night.

"there was this leathery human lady tryn'a get us to leave the store right, and then this cutie comes up to tell her off-"

"UGH BROTHER YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO STANDARDS, THAT HUMAN WAS MEDIOCRE IF THAT."

"Shh let 'em finish the story shrimp." Red had somehow already shoveled his food down, and there wasn't a trace of it left. "Keep goin' what happened."

"Okay so the second human tells the lady off and we talk a bit-"

"I KICKED MY BROTHER IN THE LEG."

Sans could have easily piece it together if he wasn't devoting all two of his brain cells trying not to loose his non-existant guts all over the table. He didn't even know why he tried blacks cooking anymore.

"That's it, can't do this, I tried." Sans shoved his 'dinner' away from hima and leaned back his chair, and decided to join in on the conversation.

"-an' then she tells us her  _dad owns the mall_!"

"no fukin' way." Stretched pipes up

"BROTHER LANGUAGE!"

"I know, that's what I said, then she throws a bone pun at us-"

"AND THATS WHEN I VACATED THE PREMISES AS FAST AS I POSSIBLY COULD." black crossed his arms and scowled.

"YES BUT DID YOU THANK THEM?"

That was the first time during dinner that papyrus had said anything and it was surprising that he wasn't the one who started speaking first.

Everyone at the table turned their heads to face him, and black answered him,

"WHAT?"

"DID YOU _THANK_  THE HUMAN WHO HELPED YOU?"

Russ shrugged " I mean no, we kinda left in the hurry-"

And black will not stop interrupting him. "PSH, WE DIDN'T  _ASK_  THE HUMAN TO HELP, SHE DID IT ON HER OWN ACCORD. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO  _THANK_  HER."

"hol' up the human was a chick?" red added.

"Uh yeah I said that."

"Well I assumed when you said 'cutie' that you were talkin' about a dude."

"IDIOT." was all edge said.

And that's where it snapped. Papyrus got up to gather the remaining 'food' at the table (red was actually the only one who ate anything. should have been harder to eat because he drowned it in mustard but you know, not judgin') to busy him self, and started towards the kitchen.

 "YOU TWO NEED TO THANK THAT HUMAN THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE THEM!" He called from the kitchen, sans could hear the water turn on.

"That was probably a one time encounter."

"PLUS YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

Sans winced as he heard glass think hard into the sink and footsteps coming fast to the dining room.

His brother slid in, "IS THAT A CHALLENGE?!"

black stood up from the table "BRING IT ON PIPSQUEAK!"

edge crossed his arms and rolled his eyes " TCH YOU'RE ONE TO TALK."  Black reared on him, and the magic in the room became palpable.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!"

"YOU KNOW GOOD AND WELL WHAT THAT MEANS, YO-"

And this is where stretched decided he wanted to speak up.

Very fast and hastily he squeaked out a sentence, " this may not be the best time to mention this but I may or may not have set the back yard on fire again earlier."

Now edge was on him instead " GOD DAMMIT WE TOLD YOU TO STOP MESSING WITH THAT DAMN GAS PIPE!"

there was a pipe behind the skeletons house that was constantly leaking gas. They where sure if they had lungs they would be pretty sick from inhaling it all the time.

Stretch was always outside kicking around dirt and smoking and kept setting the backyard on fire.

Then dear blue shot up from the table having intentions of releasing the tension. "SEE THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE'RE MOVING! THERE IS TOO MUCH NEGATIVITY IN THIS HOUSE!" he waved a gloved finger at his fellow skeletons. "A NEW HOME IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO START A NEW, A CLEAN SLATE!"

blue sat his fists on his hips, clearly proud of his speech.

"NOT TO MENTION THE GAS PIPE" edge added.

Blue rolled his eyes " YES EDGE AND THE PIPE."

"NEVER THE LESS" papyrus chimed in, " BLACK MUST THANK THAT HUMAN" Papyrus's smile widened, and his sockets squinted slightly "OR _IM FORCING HIM TO BUNK WITH BLUE."_

"YOU WOULDN'T!"

"HEY DONT BRING ME INTO THIS! YOU'D BETTER FIND THAT HUMAN!"

" IF I HAVE TO BUNK WITH  _YOU_ ILL BECOME HER GOD DAMMED BEST FREIND! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SHOVE ME IN A ROOM WITH THIS IMBECILE!"

Papyrus retreated back into the kitchen "THATS WHAT I THOUGHT!"

Sans had checked out mentally a while ago. he leaned over and whisper-yelled to stretch.

" _what the heck just happened?"_

_" Your brother just threatened black with blue"_

Yeah, still lost.

"Whelp, I'm goin' to bed, see ya."

"BROTHER HAVE YOU PACKED?" pap was back again.

"Yeah bro, totally packed."

"SANS." pap squinted at him " I WILL BUY A YEARS WORTH OF KETCHUP, BURN IT ALL AND MAKE YOU WATCH."

"Woah slow down there Satan, I'll pack." And with that, because he was too lazy to walk, sans short-cutted himself up to his room and actually packed up all his stuff.

Three boxes of socks, a box of tornado and a box of hoodies.

Welp, time for a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For real tho, it's time for a break. tomorrows Sunday so there's a possibility of no update


	5. Relaxing Saturday with Malcolm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were supposed to spend the day with your best friend, But a grown ass monster decided to have a fit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I wouldn't upload, but I got excited. I got up at 7 am on Sunday for this shit.

"Uuugggghh, turn it ooooofffff."

It was supposed to come out as a command, but it was more of a tired plea.

Malcolm had tore your curtains open, allowing the mid-summer sunlight to assault your eyeballs. You pulled your fluffy covers up over your head. 

And then they were violently torn off you. A hiss resembling that of a vampire emerged from your throat.

"Noooooo let me sleeeeep!" Malcolm shoved you off the side of the bed with his foot.

"Get up, it's 10AM, Saturday, and we haven't spent any quality time together in THREE DAYS!"

You sat up and glared at him from across the bed. " That's cuz you were too busy threatening people's lives over videogames."

"Hush. We are gonna spend the whole day together to make up for our lost time." He threw your blankets over the bed and into your face. "Now come help me make breakfast!" Malcolm walked over to your bedrooms door and pulled it open.

You pull the blankets from your face, hope sparkling in your eyes, "bacon?"

Your house mate grinned knowingly and nodded. "Bacon."

You shot up from your seat on the ground, snatched your phone from your nightstand and beat him out of your room "IM UP!" 

 You spent an hour and a half cooking up one of the biggest breakfasts you've had in a while. It was a bit sloppy, but there was no point in making it pretty if you're just gonna spend five minutes tearing it up. Didn't matter to you, as long as it ended up in your stomach.

" What did I tell you about putting syrup  _in_ the batter, it dries the pancakes out." Malcolm swatted your hand away from the mixing bowl just as you were preparing to dump a fat glob of syrup into the pancake batter.

"Yeah but it makes it sweeeteeer!" You complained.

He rolled his eyes. " No it doesn't, now stop whining and finish with the eggs."

You pouted playfully, and continued cracking eggs into the pan in front of you.

 You glance over at Malcolm at your side. You really did like him, he had the prettiest light brown hair. he had it styled like a popular boy from a nineties movie. And hes always half naked around the house.

You learned to control your flushes whenever he'd walk into the living room in nothing but dark blue pajama pants. And he was so very affectionate to all his friends, so it was hard to tell if he felt the same about you.

"What?" You awoke from your thoughts to find that you had fully turned to face him. How long had you been staring? "Is there something on my face?"

Malcolm palmed his face, trying to remove whatever it was he assumed was on him.

Ho fuck think fast. "yeah actually," you flicked him on the nose, hard. "It was pain!"

He just stared at you for a couple seconds in disbelief before turning back to the stove and stating, "I'm eating all the bacon you get none."

"No wait I'm sorry let me consume pork." You pleaded.

He smiled and pinched your cheek, "you better be glad you're so cute...and I made to much to eat myself." 

 An hour or so more of goofing off and you were finally done with breakfast. You gathered all the food and sat them on the coffee table in the living room. 

Classic, eggs, bacon, pancakes sausage aaand...

You duck into the refrigerator and pull out a half full jar of strawberry jelly. You liked to eat it out of the jar,

"Like a heathen." Malcolm said as you flopped onto the sofa next to him.

"Don't condem what you haven't tried." You waved your spoon around, and Malcolm grabbed the remote off the table.

"Let's watch a bunch of people try to bake cakes in a ridiculous amount of time." He flipped through the channels, searching for such a show.

 You shoved three strips of bacon into your mouth and you pulled out your buzzing phone."

 **Mr.Rogers:** _g'mornin'_

you stared at your phone, amused, as you typed a reply,

 **helloneighbor:** _dude it 12pm did you just get up?_

 **mr.Rogers:** _what can I say_

_I was up all night packing up, we're finally getting out of here tomorrow._

**helloneighbor:** _hey congrats._

_Im currently turning a carefully prepared breakfast into a crime scene._

**mr.Rogers:** _oh it's twelve pm, you're just eating breakfast?_

you could tell he was mocking you.

 **helloneigbor:** _hey shush, I took time preparing this_

 **mr.Rogers:** _lucky_

_Breakfast here consists of pancake batter glitter and glue._

_And if you're lucky, the cook just might throw in a little extra burnt into that._

who the hell does he live with?

"Who ya texting?" You jumped, o yeah you we're hanging with Malcolm. Oops.

"Nooobody?" You smile weakly. And then he was on you, trying to tear the phone from your hand.

"Give give me gimme give it here!"

"No! It's mine REEEEE!" he finally got it from you with a 'yoink' and read through your texts. (Again boundaries, what boundaries?)

"Ooooooooooo who's this?" He waved your phone at you

You blushed, just a bit, but enough to see. "No one important."

He laughed and scooted closer to you, "must be pretty important to interrupt our bff time. Who is he."

He shook your arm playfully, and you giggled "Malcolm hes nooo oooone!"

"Are you crushing on him?" He laughed.

"I don't even know the guy, how could I be crushing on im?"

He threw your phone onto the coffee table (along side the empty plates) and hugged you, nuzzling into the top of your head. "Sounds like a crush to meeee~." you blushed again, harder this time.

And then your phone rang.

Malcolm pulled away from you, looked you In the face, then at your phone.

"Malcolm no. Dont-"

"YEET!" He took your phone from the table, got up around the couch and answers your phone for you. "Hey it's (y/n)s boyfriend what's up?" Then he started laughing.

You tore after him and grabbed your phone from him. "Sorry about that, hello?" You glared at Malcolm, who was doubled over trying to breathe with a goofy smile on his face.

It was Chris from the store you liked, aka smoky the bear. He was always high, but you didn't mind.

"Yeah, could you come here a minute--"  _CRASH!_

you heard bunch of yelling in the background.

_"what the fuck is happening?"_

"Theres a monster here asking for 'the daughter of the owner of the mall', and  he's tearing the place up."

You look at Malcolm guiltily, he was confused for a second, then he creased his brow and started shaking his head frantically.

You nodes solely in response to his silent pleas." Im on my way." you hung up the phone.

"Noooooooo" Malcolm whined the second you put your phone down.

"I'm sorry! There's a guy about to blow the mall up if I don't come! I'll make it up to you, promise!" Malcolm crossed his arms and pouted. 

Cute

"Hey," you had an idea " why don't you put some clothes on and come with me?"

He looked down at you, pursed his lips, and tore off turned his bedroom. "RACE YA!"

"HEY WAIT!" You follow suit and dashed up to your room and nearly pulled the door off its hinges.

Races in this household were no joke. You shoved your legs into some jeans with pink hearts going down the left pant leg. You pulled a panic! At the disco shirt over your head and tore out of the room.

Only to come face to face with Malcolms smug expression. He was in his alien shirt (the one you stole from him) and some black jeans.

"Oh c'moooon" you face palmed.

"I win, I drive!"

He jingled your car keys in your face and walked towards the front door. You followed him out sulking.

\--------------

You walk into the store from the day before.

It was a mess, there were clothes  _everywere_ and there were mannequins strewn around, some missing heads and arms. The display tables where pushed to the sides of the store.

Except for one. Smack dab in the middle of the store, bobbing his leg impatiently, was a tiny, scowling, skeleton.

"YOU!" He shouted, and hopped off the table towards you.he stopped In front of you. Now that he was this close you could see he was about chest height.

"WHERE IN TORIELS NAME HAVE YOU BEEN! YOU SAID YOU WHERE ON YOUR WAY HALF AND HOUR AGO!"

"Uh, I had to get dressed, plus it takes like 45 minutes to get here, meaning SOMEONE was breaking the speed limit!"

You glared up at Malcolm behind you, and he looked away and whistled sheepishly.

"Anyway little guy what's up?"

"DONT, CALL ME LITTLE!" He pointed a gloved finger in your face before composing himself, crossing his arms.

"I WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR OUR LAST ENCOUNTER. IN MY HASTE I FORGOT TO DEMONSTRATE MY GRATITUDE FOR HELPING MY BROTHER AND I." He smiled, pleased with himself.

"You know this guy?" Malcolm pointed between you two, you didn't see the little guy scowl at him.

"Uh yeah, you know the old woman who's always up here?"

"Uh huh."

"She was bothering this guy and his...brother, and I shoved her out before she could get them to leave."

"AHEM!" The monster cleared his non-existant throat obnoxiously, and placed his hand out Infront of him. "TO INITIATE A PROPER THANKS, I WOULD APRICIATE IT IF YOU  WOULD SHAKE MY HAND."

Okay, easy enough. So you did, and at first he rocked your whole body with the vigor of his handshakes. But then his sockets somehow widened, and his handshakes slowed, until he was just holding your hand out in front of you, staring at you in some kind of disbelief.

Malcolm, from behind you said, "you can let go now buddy."

 He held your hand only a few seconds more before letting go. 

"Well then, see ya around lit- I mean buddy." You turned to go before he snatched your arm again.

"WAIT! UM,"

He let you go and began to press his fingers together and looked down sheepishly. When he spoke again he was quieter.

"I Would Also A-Also Appreciate It If You Would Give Me yourcontactinformation."

Cute.

You shrugged "I don't see why not. That way you dont have to blow a place up to talk to me." You pulled out your phone and handed it too him. He grabbed it without haste and his gloved began flying across your phone. 

He handed it back with a proud smile on his face "THERE! I SHALL BE IN CONTACT WITH YOU HUMAN!" you took it back, and he pushed passed you and eyed Malcolm suspiciously for a moment before walking away.

"What the hell was that about?" Malcolm asked.

You shrugged.

"No idea. Now come help me clean up the store."

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eggs bacon grits


	6. Moving day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the skeletons to move

Black had been pacing his bedroom for an hour now. The day before he had met his soulmate.

He was sure of it.

He could even feel the connection through his thick leather gloves, the way his soul almost escaped him at your touch, what else could it have been? It felt so  _sweet_! He wanted more of it!

And you had such strong magic, you would bare him beautiful,  _powerfull_ offspring.

The second he came home yesterday he locked himself in his bedroom and waited. He didn't know what he was waiting for or how he could, considering he wasn't a very patient person. He scratched at his glove while he waited and nearly tore a hole in it when his phone buzzed with a message.

 **Unknown** **:** _hey dude, it's the human from the shop :p_

AHHHHHH

Black mentally screeched as he replied.

 **BigGuy** **:** _ADJVSKLEIVIA_

 _IDIOT!_ black chastised himself for not being able to even form a coherent sentence.

 **BigGuy:** _I APOLOGIZE_

_MY BROTHER HAD MY PHONE_

nice save. Black gave him self a well deserved Pat on the back.

 **MINE:** _ah its no problem_

_Malcolm texts my contacts all the time_

_Did ya get home safe?_

you didn't even know him and you were worried about his  _safety?_

black tut-tutted. He'd have to teach you not to be so trusting of strangers.

 **BigGuy:** _YES I GOT HOME PERFECTLY SAFE_

_YOU SHOULD NOT WORRY FOR ME, IF I HAD RUN INTO ANY PROBLEMS IM SURE I COULD HANDLE IT._

**MINE:**   _tough guy huh?_

_I like that. Don't let anyone underestimate you_

**BigGuy:** _ANYONE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO DO SUCH WOULD SUFFER A VERY PAINFUL DEMISE_

 **MINE:** _hehheh, pretty confident too._

_Hey so we met twice now_

_What's your name?_

he face palmed. How could he forget! He was already thinking about his children and you didn't even know his  _name_!

 **BigGuy:** _I AM KNOWN AS THE MALEVOLENT BLACKBERRY._

 **MINE:** _alright Mr.blackberry_

_you can all me (y/n)_

he stated at the message from the night before over and over, until he heard knocking on his door.

black threw his phone across the room when his brother stepped in. He thought he locked his it!

"M'lord?"

"WHAT THE HELK DID I TELL YOU ABOUT ENTERING MY ROOM WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!?" 

"Sorry, edge told me to come get you, the moving van is here."

Then black remembered, they're _moving_! what if he never sees you again? No that wouldn't happen, the new house wasn't that far from the mall, he could always demand you meet him there again.

Black pulled his brother into his room and locked the door hastily. He turned to his brother and pointed at the floor.

"SIT." he did. Black paced back and forth in front of him and began thinking again. He could always tie you up and force you to come with them. But that boy you were with the last time may be a problem. Not to mention he wouldn't want you interacting with red. He shivered at the thought.

"Somethin'. wrong lord?" 

Black eyed his younger brother suspiciously, debating on whether or not he should let Russ in on his little secret. He decided to, if he was going to capture this human  he'd need his brother's help.

He sat down Infront of his brother on the floor and lowered his voice significantly, a feat his brother didn't even know he was capable of.

Barely a whisper, black said, "do you remember the human from the mall brother?" Russ nodded. "Well yesterday I went to thank them. I demanded a handshake to complete the gratification ritual-"

"You know you don't, have, to do that right?"

"Do not interrupt me! As I was saying I shook her hand an it- brother i- brother that human is my soul mate."

Now it was russes turn to yell, "YOU'RE KIDDING!" 

"SHHHHHH you IMBECILE I'm whispering for a Reason! Anyway, since we're moving I became worried we'd never see one another again, and I need your help to bring her with us!"

"And how do you suppose we do that m'lord?"

"Well I'm quite glad you asked mutt!," In his excitement black had forgotten about the whole whispering thing.  "I WAS THINKING I WOULD CONTACT HER AND HAVE HER MEET US BACK AT THE MALL AGAIN," black placed his hand on his chin condescendingly before adding, "OF COURSE WE'D HAVE TO TELL HER TO LEAVE THE MALE HUMAN BACK AT HER HOUSE. WOULDN'T WANT HIM MESSING ANYTHING-"

"Excuse me, but in order to call her, you'd need her number right?"

"BUT OF COURSE! I WASN'T IDIOTIC ENOUGH NOT TO ASK HER FOR HER CONTACT INFORMATION!" black said proudly.

"Then you can ask her to meet up wherever when you wanna hang out, you don't have to kidnap her or anything."

black pursed his non-existant lips as he thought about this. "YES MUTT I SUPPOSE YOU'RE RIGHT. OH! I NEARLY FORGOT!" black ran over to his closet door, and from the top shelf he pulled something down.

A collar. An expensive one at that, with gold studs all around and smack dab in the middle was a gem. It was the same color as your eyes. "DO YOU THINK THIS WOULD LOOK GOO-"

There was a a loud hostile banging on blacks bedroom door. "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO COME GET HIM!" it was edge "GET YOUR ASSES OUT HER WE ARE LEAVING,  _NOW!_  I SWEAR TO ASGORE I WILL LEAVE TO HERE!"

"ALL RIGHT CALM YOUR SELF WE'RE COMING!" Black tossed the collar at Russ "PROTECT THAT WITH YOUR LIFE! LETS GO. Russ pockets the collar, and the brother's sat up from the floor and went out to the drive way, where multiple vans were parked.

Deep in thought, black ran smack dab into classic sans.

That idiot is always texting some wretch now and it was beginning to aggravate him.

"WATCH IT IMBECILE!"

sans held his hands up defensively and walked away, still texting.

If he didn't stop that he would walk right off the side of a cliff. Black laughed at the thought, he could arrange that.

He hopped into edges car, along with red and Russ "DO NOT DISTURB ME BROTHER I AM ASSESSING MY SITUATION!" HE DEMAMDE, and became lost to his thoughts again. Yes his brother was right, though he was upset he wouldn't get to see his soulmate again today he guessed it was satisfactory being able to communicate with you.

The second they got to the house he was going to contact you and demand a date. Pretty soon the cars and bans began driving off towards their new home. The closer to it they got the calmer he felt. Eventually he was relaxed enough to fall asleep.

\--------------

Two and a half hour s later black was gently woken up by his brother, "m'lord, we've arrived."

Black instantly sprung passed his brother outside of the car. "DO I HABE ANYTHING ON MU FACE?!" I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LET ME FALL ASLEEP AROUND  _THAT GREMLIN!_ " the gremlin in question, red, had already vacated the car, along with edge.

"I TOLD YOU I MUST STAY VIGILANT! YOU CAN NOTNALLOW ME TO--"

And then he felt it. The tug. The same tug as when he shook your hand. The unbelievable bliss he felt when he touched you, it was here again.

You were here.

 


	7. Like, actually, physically?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are showing me so much love for this and I don't respond well to complements so uuuuuhhhh thanks ^_^

Half sleep, you felt a tug deep down somewhere in your chest. You ignored the constant pulling feeling in your stomach and looked over at the clock on the nightstand.

11 am.

You figured you could get away with another hour or two. You turn over and pulled your cover up over your head. Then they were ripped off you and you were shoved off the bed.

This is getting old.

" Get up sleeping beauty someone's moving into the house next to us."

You forced your self up off the floor and joined Malcolm over at your bedroom window. Sure enough there were about four big moving vans out in the previously vacant houses parking lot. 

Who ever was moving in must of been loaded, the house next to yours was huge, at least 10 bedrooms and really did make yours look a hovel.

Standing in front of the house, on their phone was someone you found quite peculiar. He was a monster and he looked just like black from the mall, but taller, and he was wearing blue, and ....

Pffff were those slippers?

And then your phone buzzed on your nightstand.

 **mr.Rogers:** _heya :)_

_I just got to my new house. Real nice place._

_Wyd?_

no way.

You texted him back.

 **helloneighbor:** _uh, hey_

_Think you could do me a favor._

You pressed send and the second you did, the skeleton read something over his phone, and typed something in.

Your phone buzzed.

 **mr.Rogers:** _yeah what's up_

NO FUKiN WAY.

 **helloneighbor:** _uh_

_Spin around three times in a circle._

he looked quizzically at his phone before replying.

 **mr.Rogers** _: why?_

_Is this part of a joke?_

**helloneighbor:** _hopefully._

_Just do it_

_I'll no if you don't_

without looking up from his phone, the skeleton turned around.

Three times.

In a circle.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me."

"What?" Malcolm was still beside you. 

"Adjj- sy ahh Neighbor."

That's what came out of your mouth. 'adjj- sy ahh Neighbor.'

 Malcolm looked at you, half confused half amused, and walked away. "Fine, keep your secrets. I'm gonna go take a shower." with that, he left, and you were alone with your phone.

 **mr.Rogers:** _now explain to me why I just did that_

best to diffuse the situation with humor right?

 **helloneighbor:** _uh, not tibia bother here, but I think we're like, physical neighbors_

_I can feel it in my bones._

That seemed to get him, his sockets widened, and he began looking around frantically, aaand before he could see you, you ducked down underneath your window.

Heh- hehno fukin' way, the stranger you'd been texting for like 3 days now, was moving in next to you.

Then the tugging happened again.

It never really went away, but it was more insistent now. And you felt compelled to look up out of your window again. 

And you saw him, little, tiny tyrant ripped out of the house, shoved passed the blue guy and begins turning around in circles. And then he stops right at your window.

And he's staring right at you.

You ducked down under your window again but it was too late, not even half a minute later there was an extremely loud and insistent banging on your front door.

"HUMAN OPEN THIS DOOR THIS  _INSTANT_ OR I WILL  _BREAK IT DOWN **MYSELF**_!!"

His tone suggested that those weren't just empty threats. He was prepared to turn your door into a bunch of splinters without hesitation.

Not minding your bed head, or the pajama shirt riding up your midrifft you bounded down to the front door and tore it open. 

Standing at your front door, was a very agitated looking skeleton, and behind him was his brother from the first time you met.

 "Uh hey guys, what's up, I see you're moving in next door."

Black took a deep breath and placed his hands on your shoulders. "MUTT THE COLLAR." 

The taller skeleton handed black a beautiful, expensive looking collar.

Without warning the tiny skeleton shoved you down onto the floor of your open doorway and climbed on top of you. 

"REeeeeEEEEE!" You screeched and began flailing under him. Apparently he was attempting to wrestle the collar onto your neck.

"HOLD HER STILL!"

"what?"

"What?!"

"YOU HEARD ME MUTT HOLD THE HUMAN STILL!" 

 In a second your attempts to free yourself stopped You were encased in a copper colored glow, and couldn't move.

And your chest tugged again.

You looked past black (who was currently fastening the collar around your neck) at his taller brother, who was (somehow) pale.

"Uh, m'lord. M'LORD!"

"CANT YOU SEE IM BUSY HERE?!"

"Well yeah but I think we might have a small problem."

"IT CAN WAIT!"

"Uh no, I don't think it can!" Black ripped his hands of off your throat and turned to face his brother without getting off you.

"FINE! WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT!"

His brother looked at you, then black. He crouched down to his brother's level and whispers some things into his ear.

"WHAT!?!"

you managed to wince at his volume.

You could move again.

You rolled out from under black and ran into the living room, right into a half naked, wet Malcolm.

As you barreled into him from the front door you could here a 'GET HER!' 

 "Woah what's the matter whats going on?" He hugged you instinctively as black and his brother came rushing into the living room. They froze. Black looked like as though he was going to have a stroke, and his brother spoke up for him.

" I suggest if you want to keep those nice arms of yours then you'll let her go."

He only hugged you tighter, and in the moment he did black lurched at you two. The other skeleton had to hold him back to keep him from tearing Malcolm's eyes out.

And then there was another one.

A baby blue clothed skeleton burst into your living room. He looked just like, a softer blackberry.

"BLACK WE BARELY EVEN UNPACK THE VAN AND YOU'RE ALREADY ASSAULTING THE NEIGHBORS! IM SO VERY SORRY ABOUT THIS MS, THIS GUY HAS ABSOLUTELY NO MANNERS!

"Huh, what the fuck is going on, why is the little guy from the mall here?!"

" **DONT CALL ME LITTLE!!!!"**

 Blackberry goes buck wild at Malcolm's inquiry. 

"RUSS GET HIM OUT OF HERE!"

He hesitated.

"RUSS!!"

'russ' glared above you at Malcolm You before leaving with a flailing blackberry.

"SORRY ABOUT THAT, BLACK KNOWS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT BOUNDARIES, ASSAULTING A STRANGER."

" Well, we're not exactly strangers."

the soft skeleton blinked "HAVE YOU MET?"

"Uh yeah, a couple times at the mall."

"OH! WELL I GUESS THAT MAKES THIS A BIT EASIER! WOULD YOU LIKE HELP GETING THAT OFF?" He pointed to the collar around your neck and strode towards you.

"Uh, yeah thanks buddy."

You crouched down to his level and he started fiddling with the buckle on the back of your neck, and your chest tugged again.

 "ITS REALLY NO PROBLEM! THE MAGNIFICENT BLUEBERRY NEVER HESITATES TO HELP A-" he stopped.

His arms were around your neck in a hugging position and his eye sockets were wide.

Then, in the blink of an eye, you weren't in your house anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fear blueberry


	8. Welcome to the neighborhood

It  was a nearly empty bedroom. There was a bed pushed up against the wall covered with large cardboard boxes. That was it. Just a bed and a bunch of boxes.

The adorable teddy bear of a skele locked the door to the room and sat next to you on the floor.

And he just stared. And stared. And stared.

He was staring you right in the eye and you couldn't look away from him. His pretty blue eyes were in the shapes of stars, and he was smiling so hard you were Shure he was going to break his skull.

He was making a sound similar to a tea kettle, and he was kept leaning closer to you.

"Uh-"

"EEEEEEEE!! HELLO! MY NAME IS UM, BLUEBERRY AND UH WE ARE GOING TO BECOME  _VERY_ CLOSE! I KNEW IT WAS RIGHT TO MOVE HERE!"

"I'm cool with that, always up for making new friends, but can you explain to me,....  _why?"_

realization crossed his face, "AH YES OF COURSE, I GUESS THIS IS ALL VERY STRANGE WITHOUT CONTEXT!"

 He sat up straight and took a long deep breath before speaking.

"YOU AND I ARE WHAT WE MONSTERS CALL SOULMATES, IN THE SENSE THAT WE WERE, QUITE LITERALLY, MADE FOR EACH OTHER! WHEN TOO SOULMATES MEET, AND MAKE PHYSICAL OR MAGICAL CONTACT, OUR BODIES AND MAGIC RESPOND TO THAT OF OUR MATES, AND FROM THAT POINT ON THE SOULMATES ARE TO SPEND THE REST OF THEIR EXISTENCE TOGETHER!"

And then he inhaled.

You took it in for a second. "Ok so, how do you know when you're 'soulmates' with someone."

"WELL, WHEN WE TOUCHED, YOU FELT YOUR SOUL TUGGING, CORRECT."

is that was that was. Well if that was the case then,

"ive felt that with three of you now."

His left socket twitched "HEH HEH, WHAT?"

"Well when I black showed up, it started tugging, then his brother, Russ, froze me with some magic thing and it tugged, and then it happened again when you went to take the collar off." (which was still on by the way)

Blue stared at you in disbelief before completely collapsing with laughter. "HAH, AH, YOU SEE USUALLY IM NOT ALL TOO FOND OF JOKES BUT- THAT WAS ACTUALLY FUNNY! HEH HAH, YOU'RE JOKING RIGHT."

The last sentence was completely void of any laughter.

You shook your head slowly.

Blue took a deep breath and crawled behind you, and it sounded like he actually tore the collar off. He then crawled out in front of you, grabbed your shoulders and pulled you towards him.

"you're mine. You must be mistaken." He was very close and suddenly very quiet.

Then there was a light rapping on the door. "Hey bro, ya in there?" Whoever was on the other side of the door tried the doorknob, only to find it locked.

Blue quickly pressed his hand into your mouth and leaned closer to the door. "YES PAPY! IM JUST UNPACKING!! EVERYTHING IS FINE!"

There was an pause. "What are you hiding in there?" You could feel blueberry's finger twitch in annoyance.

"NOTHING BROTHER!"

"Alright that's it I'm comin' in."

"NO BROTHER DONT-"

and standing in from of you, was an orange, soft Russ. 

wHAT the fuck? So there are two, no three short ones, and two tall ones. Who all looked essentially, the same.

"Bro what the fuck."

"LANGUAGE!" Blue yelled "COME SIT, SINCE YOU'RE HERE I WANT YOU TO MEET MY SOULMATE!"

"Oh cool where'd you meet her?" The orange sat with you and blue.

"SHES OUR NEIGHBOR! SHE WAS BEING ATTACKED BY BLACK AND I" he placed his hand over his chest heroically " SAVED HER FROM HIM!"

'nice. cool to meet you, names stretch. Hope we can be great friends." he stuck his hand out to you.

Ooh no. You were noticing a pattern and you were NOT subjecting yourself to this again.

" Yeah, don't think we should shake hands." You leaned away from this stretch character.

"Oh c'mon, don'tcha know how to greet a new pal?" He shoved his hand closer to you.

"YEAH SHAKE IT, HES NOT GONNA BITE YOU!"

"Okay, but I warned you." you grabbed the skeletal hand Infront of you, and the second you gripped his hand your 'soul' tugged again.

And stretches smile fell, and his sockets widened. You both looked over at blue who wasn't smiling either.

He began to shake his head slowly. " No."

You nod your head just as slowly. "I told you. I told you."

"Uh bro-"

BANG

the door of the bedroom flew off its hinges and landed in front of you three.

Standing in the doorway was a murder ready looking skeleton.

"MUTT GRAB HER!" Out of nowhere Russ walked out from behind him and picked you up like you where nothing.

"NO! YOU DEMON SPAWN LET HER GO!" Blue clawed at Russ's legs, but he just kicked him off. Before Russ could make it back to his brother you were covered in a bright orange and were lifted out of the air. "I'll take that thank you."

You floated all the way into stretch's arms.

"(Y/N)!" 

Oh thank god! Malcolm was in the doorway now, still half naked, along with the slipper skelly.

"MALCOLM!"  You wriggled out of stretch's grip and ran passed Russ into Malcolm "why are you half naked you're gonna catch a cold!"

"Really, you just got kidnapped and you're worried about me being sick?"

"I DID NOT KIDNAP HER!"

Blue looked almost offended

 "SHE IS PERFECTLY FINE! NOW IF YOU WOULD LET GO OF MY SOULMATE-"

" ** _MY_** SOULMATE!"

Black plucks you from Malcolm and tears out of the room down the stairs and into the unfamiliar, empty living room, cackling like a madman, and only stopped when he ran smack dab into a tall edgy-er Russ, with a scar over his right eye. just like a big blackberry

_how many of these guys **are** there?_

"WHAT ON THIS GOD FORSAKEN PLANET IS ALL THAT RACKET!?"

black sat on top of you possessively " NONE OF YOU'RE BUSINESS FLAGPOLE, NOW GET OUT OF HERE IM BUSY!"

the tall skeleton looked down and just noticed you. He backed up quickly, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!" he pointed accusingly at you

"Hey!"

" 'ey boss I can't find the- ooh hello what's goin' on here?"

Oh yes, there's another. This one was like slippers and black had a baby. He had gold fur all around his hoodie, red sneakers, and-

" _haaaaaaa h_" you weezed. He was wearing a black spiked collar. You could cut yourself on the edge.

"THIS HERE IS MY  _SOULMATE_ AND I DO NOT WANT EITHER OF YOU INTERACTING WITH HER, ESPECIALLY YOU!" he pointed at the collared one. "I WOULDN'T WANT YOU TAINTING HER!"

"ugh, well I never." he put his hand to his chest in mock hurt. " Ya talk as if im a bad influence!"

Raphael. That's who he sounded like, a teenage mutant ninja fucking turtle.

"YOU ARE THE TEXTBOOK DEFINITION OF A BAD INFLUENCE, BROTHER." the tall one crossed his arms.

" C'mon yer s'posed to be on my side boss!" The tall one rolled his eyes

"oh thank god I found you." you turned your head as best you could, considering you were under a somehow skeleton monster, to look behind you.

There, standing above you, was black in slippers.

" Oh please Me.Rogers save me!" You stretched your arms out towards him " I have no idea what's going on or why but i feel like you're the only sane one here."

"Get off her black."

" NO! SHE'S MINE I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH HER!"

he placed a foot squarely onto blacks face and shoved him off you.

"sorry bout all this. Do I know you?" He extended a hand towards you and you grabbed it without thinking. As soon as you started to pull yourself up he dropped you.

Sure I'll get up myself. "Uh, yeah I think so. number neighbors, where did I put my phone."

Its still in your house, on the floor, underneath your bedroom window. God dammit.

"You for real?"

"YOU KNOW HIM?!" Black was up now, and help was cemented to your side. 

"(Y/N)!!! I swear if you don't stop disappearing!!!"

" I'm down here Malcolm!! In the living room!!" You can see the relief oh his face when he turned the corner.

"Jeez, I am not letting you out of my sight again. C'mon let's go home before you get kidnapped again."

"NO!"

"NO!"

"I don't think so."

"You are not leaving."

"Stay a bit."

 Guess what, there's another! A big bubbly Russ opened the front door "BROTHER I HAVE PAID THE- " then he saw you.

"OH! HAVE WE MADE A NEW FRIEND?" He quickly walked towards you and lifted you up, encasing you in the tightest hug imaginable. 

And you stayed like that for a good minute before black got fed up.

"YOU CAN LET HER GO NOW!"

Slowly but surely, he put you down. "BROTHER."

"I know bro."

 He went to hug you again, a gigantic smile on his face, but before he could Malcolm pulled you from your spot.

"We. Are going. Home."

He slowly began inching your closer to the door.  He was in arms reach of the doorknob when it locked on its own.

"EVERYONE, ON THE COUNT OF THREE, WE ARE GOING TO SUBDUE THEM." said the bubbly boy. "ONE-"

"THREE!" Malcolm was torn from you and you were slammed into the ceiling, he was pressed into a wall facing blueberry.

"I STILL DON'T SEE WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT!" Tall black screeched.

"Yea, wha's so special about this human." the collared skeleton is standing right under you, studying you. uncomfortably.

Talk black flicked stretch on the back of the head, and you fall right on top of the skeleton beneath you with a thud.

Tugging.

You tried to pull yourself off him but he Hugs you, and you collapse back on top of him

"uh, dude, lemmie go."

"ALRIGHT GET YOUR SLIMY HANDS OF OFF HER, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE SHES BEEN!"

his brother came to pull you off of the collared one. he picked you up like a person would a cat."WHATS SO IMPORTANT ABOUT-" 

tugging.

"OH"

"yeah. we should probably talk about this."

Malcolm was on his feet now." yeah sure totally just put her down first!"

 


	9. You are infinitely screwed

"okay, so is this all of you?"

You were all gathered around in the living room floor in a circle. black and 'red', as hes called, are sprawled over you like spider monkeys. reds head in your lap, and black with his arms and legs wrapped around your middle. you were stroking reds head subconsciously, and he was enjoying it.

"i mean, this is the house hold." the skeleton you had been texting for three days, sans, was the one in the blue hoodie basketball shorts and  _slippers_.

"yeah, but is this all we have to worry about?" everyone turned there head to look at Malcolm beside you.

red then looked up at you, "why is he even here?"

and black finished the sentence for him,"YES HE IS NOT A PART OF THIS ENDEAVOR."

"well i'm not gonna leave her alone with _you_." Malcolm gestured vaguely around the room. "you just moved in and shes been kidnapped like  _twice._ in half an  _hour_."

"ANYWAY," edge was sitting crisscross on the floor with his arms crossed. "WE  _SHOULD_ BE FINE. OUR NEW ADDRESS WAS NOT ENCLOSED TO ANY OF THE OTHERS."

You blinked slowly "others?"

"Like, how many others?" 

sans took a second to count. One hand. Two hands. "Like, ..infinity?"

"Alright no come on (Y/n) we're leaving."

"NO!" papyrus yelled, who was, until that moment, visibly vibrating. He started looking around, panicked, "UUHH- YOU MUST STAY FOR DINNER!" He pointed towards you, beamed, quite pleased with his excuse for you to stay. 

Time had escaped you, because now the sun was setting. In the hours you'd spent at the skeletons house you learned all their names.

Papyrus, sans, red, edge, Russ, black, stretch and blueberry. Quote strange names in your opinion, but they're monsters, things are different for them.

At Papyrus's mention of dinner you instantly glanced towards sans, who was staring at you wide eyed and shaking his head.

"Uuuuh- no!'

"...NO?"

"Uh- no what I mean is..... YOU SHOULD LET MALCOLM COOK!"

Papyrus looked confused, and a little hurt.

"I mean, you guys have been on the road all day, and- and -and all this soulmate thing happened, you guys need a break and my buddy Malcolm here is an excellent cook!"

He seemed to buy it. He placed his hand on his chin thoughtfully. "I GUESS THAT LOGIC IS UNDERSTANDABLE." He placed his hands in his lap and smiled brightly at you. "PLUS I THINK IT SWEET YOU CARE FOR OUR WELL BEING, BUT I DONT GET TIRED!"

he stood up and sat his hands on his hips. "HOWEVER I WILL ALLOW YOUR 'BUDDY' TO MAKE USE OF OUR CULINARY SUPPLIES! BLUE, EDGE, YOUR ASSISTANCE UNPACKING PLEASE!"

Blue sprang up from his seat to follow papyrus into the kitchen. Edge however took his time getting there.

You looked over at sans, who had relaxed. You gave him a knowing wink, and he laughed.

Then from below you, red reached into his jacket pocket and pulls out,

A whole bottle of mustard.

And starts drinking it.

"Dude what the fuck."

"Oh hush  _heathen_." Malcolm flicked you in the head.

"Hey, strawberry jelly and  _mustard,_ are two totally different things okay?"

 Black loudly winced beside you. "YOU EAT STRAWBERRY JELLY?"

You shrugged "it tastes good!"

"Well mustard tastes good."

Hey look, there are still other skeletons in the room. "No, it doesn't." Stretched retorted.

"Oh hush honey boy." Red took another swig of his mustard.

You pointed towards stretch "see! Honey makes sense! I can tolerate drinking half a gallon of Honey but I can't even do a spoonful of mustard."

"cough*sansdrinksketchup*cough!" Russ pretends to nearly choked to death. "Sorry that was a weird ass cough I just did there, continue."

"Sans." He perked up a bit, signaling that he heard you.

"Sans no." And then he started giggling. Maniacal laughter as you grimace at the thought of guzzling down a bottle of tomato jelly.

"UUUGGGGHH dude what's wrong with you guys?"

"why assume it's us?"

"Yeah maybe you've just gotta," sans laughed "mustard up some courage!" The last part came out as a wheeze. You groaned as black let go of you only to go smack sans on the back of the head.

"STOP! STOP IT!"

Red snickered in your lap." that's what she said."

It took you a second, but when your brain finally registered what he said it was your turn to laugh. You collapse on your back in a fit of giggles.

Okay, yeah, you've got a fucked up since of humor.

"Oh my god (y/n) you're awful!"

When you finally caught your breath you said "what!? You said it yourself I find the worst things funny."

He turned to the skeletons "seriously, her favorite jokes consist of murder, rape, child murder, depression suicide and fucking dismemberment!"

"WAIT wait, like this one!" You let your giggles fully subside before starting your joke. "How do you get a hundred babies in a bucket?"

Everyone shrugged, black looked mortified.

" _a blender!_ " red and Russ were the only ones who fully let out a laugh, stretch looked uncomfortable and sans was unreadable.

"wait, listen, that's not it, how do you get them out?"

"How?"

"DON'T ENCOURAGE HER!"

"how?!"

" _tortilla chips!_ " 

Red and Russ laughed loudly, black threw his hand up in frustration and Malcolm looked around the room.

"See I don't GET it, what's so fukin' funny about eating BABIES?! It's TERRIBLE!"

"NO  _I_ AM TERRIBLE. WHAT ARE YOU ALL LAUGHING ABOUT ANYWAY?" Edge was back in the living room, along with pap and blue, who had already replaced black beside you.

Red rolled over on his stomach, placing his elbows in your lap, "bro, heh, boss listen, the Human here told us hehehe, this joke-"

"AH I'VE BARELY GOTTEN TO SPEAK TO HER AND YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HER WITH YOUR AWFUL PUNS! ANYWAY," edge sharply turned towards Malcolm "WE HAVE FINISHED SETTING EVERYTHING UP IN THE KITCHEN, YOU WILL FIND WE HAVE PLENTY OF INGREDIENTS TO MAKE A DECENT MEAL."

"Oh, ok cool thanks, c'mon (y/n)." You begin to follow him into the kitchen, but red sank heavier on you, and blue clawed at your shirt. 

Oh yeah, you're still in your pajamas.

"YOU NEED HER TO _COOK_?" Blue eyes Malcolm suspiciously. 

"Well yeah. I never cook without (y/n) in the kitchen. It's the law!"

You rolled your eyes. "Oh please." You nudge red a bit with your hand. "Red could you get off me buddy?" He glared up at you before reluctantly rolling off you, onto his back.

You pried blues hand from your clothes."NOOOOOO."

"I'll be right back okay? I'm right in the kitchen." You finally move into the kitchen, where Malcolm was boiling pasta in a ridiculously large pot

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> endeavor?  
> its pronounced "faggot"


	10. He has to go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm too hype for this

_stupid_ Malcolm

takin his soulmate in the _stupid_ kitchen.

Red stared up at the ceiling in the living room. The one thing created for him and he had to share. Not only with other monsters, but with some gangly  _human._ you'd been in there with him a full half hour, what the hell were you two doing?

Stretch was the first to speak up. "Okay so what the fuck are we doing about that Malcolm guy?"

"Oh I thought you'd never ask!" Sans deflated happily. "That guy is totally crushing on her, and they live together if that's valuable information."

"What?!"

"Oh FUCK no."

"WE'RE GETTING RID OF HIM."

"AS MUCH AS I ENJOY YOUR ENTHUSIASM, WE MUST BE CARFULL!" Papyrus put a stop to the riot that was about to ensue. "WE MUST NOT BE HASTY, IF WE ACT WITHOUT PURE FACTS ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP WE COULD SCARE OUR HUMAN AWAY!"

"TCH," edge, who was basically a spoiled rich kid, said "IT DOESN'T MATTER IF WE SCARE HER. IF SHE REJECTS US WELK JUST FORCE HER TO STAY WITH US. SHES OURS WETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT!"

"AGREED!" Blue and black backed him up.

"While I'm not totally against the whole kidnapping thing," stretched raised his hand. "I don't think it should be our first plan of action. Were soulmates, so no matter what the universe is gonna slam her into us no matter what."

Red groaned and raked he hand down his face. "Yeah but it takes so  _long_ that way!"

"Not necessarily," sans, "she's all for making new friends, just some time together and a little bit of flirting and she'll never want to leave! She's too nice, a guy could take her purse, trip and she'd help him up, she wouldn't reject us."

"I hope you're right vanilla, cause if she sais no she's staying in the basement and not coming out." Red was convinced, after the way you touched him before, the way that  _felt_ , he could  _not_ give that up.

"Preach!" Russ threw a fist into the air.

"WELL IF THAT'S SETTLED, I THINK I SHOULD GET TO SPEND TIME WITH HER FIRST." Black demanded.

"WHAT, NO WAY! YOU'VE BEEN ALL OVER HER SINCE SHE GOT HERE! I THINK I SHOULD SPEND SOME TIME WITH HER!" Edge disagreed. "SHE HASN'T EVEN SPOKEN TO ME YET!"

Russ snickered "I'd understand if she didn't _want_ to. If she leaves because of anyone it'll be you."

"Ooh burn." Stretch was enjoying this.

"Oh and you forget how insane your brother is. He greeted his new neighbor with a  _collar."_ red propped himself up on his elbow.

"WELL ORIGINALLY SHE WAS  _MY_  SOULMATE!"

"That's not even a reason!"

Blue thought for a second, "NO, NO HE HAS A PONT THERE."

These two are INSANE.

Papyrus snapped his fingers "WE NEED TO FOCUS! HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET CLOSER TO HER,  _FAIRLY_ WITHOUT  _KIDNAPPING_ HER!?"

Remembrance flashed across San's face, "she likes amusement parks, we could all go together!"

"YES, EXCELLENT IDEA BROTHER! WE SHOULD ALL GO AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!"

"TOMORROW!"

"I'm cool with that." Russ nodded in affirmation.

 "Ruuuss!!" You called from the kitchen. "Can you come do your magic floaty thing to help us bring the plates out!"

"We have so much to explain to her." Russ got up towards the kitchen.

Then you walked in, and red sat up and started laughing.

"Hoh my fukin' god I can't believe you made _lasagna!_ "

"What? all you guys have is pasta and taco shells."

"She wanted to feed you fucking tomato sauce boritos. I wasn't going to let her torture you with her awful cooking."

" You wanna see awful cooking stay here for a while." Sans grabbed a plate from Russ. Red and stretch nearly coughed up a lung (which would be impossible, they're skeletons) stifling a laugh.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

 "IT MEANS YOU AMD BLACK ARE AWFUL COOKS, EDGE."

"WHY YOU LITTLE-"

"Hey if you guys aren't gonna eat it I will." you already had a spoonful of food in your mouth. "I's' good."

"Wouldn't do ya much good." Russ pulled you into his lap by your arm. "I's' monster food, you eat to much of it you might start floatin'." 

You started shoveling the food into your mouth faster. "Wait I was kidding, don't choke yourself." Russ had to pull the fork from your mouth to keep you from eating.

You chewed the rest of your food and swallowed. "Awe, see and you had my hopes up!"

Red tasted the food. Huh, tastes good. Red, blue sans and papyrus inhaled their food as normal.

"Black, edge? Why don'tcha eat?" You rocked back and forth in Russ's lap.

Lucky bastard.

"HOW DO WE KNOW ITS NOT POISONED?"

"OR THERE'S NO BOMB IN IT?" Black rotated the plate, checking for explosives.

Malcolm looked offended. "First of all, how the hell would I fit a bomb into tugging lasagna--"

"Hush there's C4 in, it give!"

You learned towards blacks plate, he pulled it farther from you, "WHAT THE HELL IS C4?"

"Oh my god you guys have soooo much to learn."

\--------

An hour later you were all sprawled out in the living room, half of you about to pass out, a third already passed out, and another third were fighting sleep like champions.

Red was almost sleep. He had regained his throne in your lap and was dozing off. A minute or two more and he would've been dead to the world.

And then you tried to get up. "I guess we should get going, I've got school tomorrow." Red instantly shot out of her Lap and shoved you back, laying right smack dab in the middle of your boobs.

"You're a grown ass woman ya ain't gotta go to school."

"Well yeah I do, you don't think I lay around doing nothing do you?"

"Lord knows you can afford it." Malcolm said from beside you groggily.

"BESIDES, YOU LIVE RIGHT NEXT DOOR, YOU CAN STAY THE NIGHT RIGHT, LEAVE IN THE MORNING!" Blue was perfectly awake now, and was looking over you along with red.

Malcolm stood up. "I'm sure if she stayed the night you'd find some kind of excuse to get her to stay in the morning."

He wasn't wrong there. "Plus don't you guys have unpacking to do? Get off her we're going home. Actually this time."

red finally rolled off of you, and you trotted off, barefoot, in your pajamas, at ten o clock at night, home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like dbz, took three chapters for her to leave their fukin house.


	11. Jack skelingtons older cousin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have don't you dare forget the sun stuck in my head.

the dreadful sound, the fucking beeping that tears your out of your blissful slumber.

it took everything in you not to Ctrl+Alt+Delete your goddamn alarm clock. you kicked your blankets off you and rolled out the bed. what genius thought it was a good idea to start classes at eight in the morning. you thought about asking you're parents if you could take night classes instead, because the whole snatching yourself out of bed at six in the morning has never sat well with you.

you reluctantly dragged yourself off to your bedroom. you brush your teeth, simultaneously turning on your shower in the process.

You take off your pajamas and hop in the shower, letting the hot water run over you.

That was a weird ass dream you had, something about skeletons and blueberries-ohmygoditwasreal.

You repeatedly banged your head on the tiled wall of your bathroom. Now would be a great time for that concession. After a while of wasting water you decided it was about time to get dressed. 

You pulled a black sweater over your head, and pulled on some comfy jeans. It's Monday, if you were gonna try with your outfit someone better be paying you.

Okay, 6:48, let's go see what's up with Malcolm. You grabbed grabbed your phone as usual, and your book bag and entered Malcolms room. He was hanging off the side of the bed, with his face smooshed into his pillow and his arm over his head.

Aww, he looks so peaceful. You shook him. Hard.

If you had to suffer so did he. "MALCOLM HELP THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!" Nothing, he just rolled his face deeper into his pillow. Plan B then. "I DELETED ALL YOUR GAME FILES!" 

Bingo. Malcolm leaped up from his bed and ran over to his computer. He turned it on and wiped his eyes with the palms of his hands, "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK I'VE BEEN PLAYING HALF THOSE GAMES FOR YEARS-"

Only when you fell on the floor laughing, clutching your sides, did Malcolm stop freaking out. " You fucker you were lying weren't you."

You weezed in response, and pulled yourself up on Malcolms bed. He crawled over it and shoved you back down.

"Yooo heh heh, dude you don't give a shit about the house burning down but someone deletes your fortnite and the world is ending!!"

"Hey I play fortnite ironically, I can afford to loose a bit of those files." He looked over at his windows and sat his head into his sheets. "Why'd you wake me up anyway? It's still dark out."

You sat up and weaved Malcolms hair between your fingers. "I wanted to tell you I was going to school, the way you woke up was so worth it."

"Asshole."

"Awe don't be like that, now come help me find my keys!"

 He groaned and followed you out of his room, to the living room. "I can't believe you woke me up for that I was having a good dream to."

"Something about skeletons?"

"And... blueberries, it wasn't a dream was it?" Malcolm raked his fingers through his hair. "Ooh my god we actually have maniacs as neighbors."

"Hey they're not maniacs, they're just a little .. different." Malcolm puts on some flip flops and followed you out to your car.

"No they're full out weird, even by monster standards."

"You're one to talk about weird."

"Yeah yeah." Malcolm waved off your comment as you sat in the driver's seat. "Promise me you'll text me as soon as you get to school!"

Malcolm scolded at you from the other side of your window, and you Thanks your keys into the ignition. "I will I will! Be good while I'm gone!" With that you pulled out your drive way amd made your way to school.

\--------

7:26

 **E.T.** _oi_

_I just got to school._

_I'm bored and class doesn't start for another half hour so talk to me :D_

**ninjapants:** _were out of ice cream_

_and jelly._

**E.T** _: What?!_

_I bought like three jars what happened?_

**ninjapants:** _you fukin' ate it all._

 **E.T:** _oh hush_

_I'll get some more on the way home._

**ninjapants:** _one more thing._

_Did you give the goddamned skeletons a key to our house?_

what, no. Why would they ask that. Your phone buzzes, but it's not from Malcolm.

 **BigGuy:** _HUMAN WHERE IN HEAVENS NAME ARE YOU?!_

_WHY AREN'T YOU AT HOME?_

_YOU'D BETTER NOT BE HIDING FROM ME!_

oh right, black hand been conked out when you explained the whole school thing

 **MINE:** _dude, chill_

_Im at school_

_How'd you get into my house?_

**BigGuy:** _SHORTCUT_

what, shortcut? Whatever

 **MINE:** _why are you there anyway?_

_Its seven in the morning._

**BigGuy:** _SEVEN AM IS QUITE LATE FOR SOMEONE SUCH AS MYSELF._

_I HARDLY EVER EVEN SLEEP. SINCE I MET YOU I'VE BEEN DOING IT OFTEN._

**MINE:** _maybe I relax you. You're comfy around me._

_;)_

**BigGuy:** _ASHEIFHF_

_APOLOGIES_

_THE MUTT HAD MY PHONE AGAIN._

 "Alright, heads up phones down, pass in your essays!"

Essay, hah that's funny.

Due tomorrow, do tomorrow.

 **MINE** _oh heck class is starting. I'll be home in seven or so hours BE GOOD_

_do not fight with Malcolm while I'm gone._

 

 You put your phone down, and mentally prepared yourself for ~~seven hours of pointless torture~~

Class.

\------------

FREEDOM!

 The bell rung, and you catapulted your bag into your backpack and booked it home.

 **helloneighbor:** _ey boneboy_

_Im on my way home. Gonna stop by the store_

_Don't tell black though, wanna surprise him._

**mr.Rogers:** _kk_

_Hey get some ketchup on your way home._

_I'm out_

**helloneighbor:** _heathen_

 

you made your way out to the college parking lot. It was a nice day outside, not a cloud in the sky, and it was there was a comfy cold blowing through the air.

You got into your car and drove off towards the grocery store. Nothing could possibly go wrong today.

\--------------

2 gallons of cookies and cream ice cream, 4 big ass jars of jelly, now all that's left is the ketchup. Fuck it, get some mustard and honey for the others, like shopping for kids. You rolled your cart down to the isle were all the condiments are kept.

Down the aisle you spotted a very familiar suit of armor. Bubbly boy!

"Hey! Hey paps!"  You abandoned your cart and bounded over towards papyrus-

Oh.

That is not the bubbly boy.

"..HAVE WE MET?" Yeah, louder than usual. 

It was papyrus, but he looked like something out of a nightmare. He was huge with tiny shrunken eyes and chipped, crooked teeth.

"EXCUSE ME?"

You stopped studying him, (rude) and studderd out a sentence.

"Uh- no sorry you-you look like someone i-uh know okaybye." You immediately pivot on your foot to leave.

Nope, Nuh uh, noooooooo you knew nothing good could happen by staying here.

You grabbed your cart at the end of the aisle and walked away. You stopped for a second, took a deep breath, and stared into your basket.

...

Oh yeah the ketchup.

You quickly circle back around to the condiment aisle, and ran, awkwardly, back into, not, papyrus.

"Sorry, actually forgot I came here for a reason. Gettin some ketchup for this, weird friend of mine."

It was probably best not to let him know you knew sans, since he'd kept his new address from any of the 'others'. Also don't let him touch you, my might in up in a basement somewhere.

When you went walk past him, you noticed he was getting ketchup too.

All of it.

He had two baskets, one filled to the brim with ketchup, and not the little ones, the industrial. Sized bottles.

And another filled completely with just, pasta. Not even one kind, just all of the pasta youd ever heard of, piled into one basket.

No ketchup then, sorry sansy. You reached up and pulled down two large bottles of mustard, and two big bottles of Honey, the adorable bear shaped ones.

"Uh, you have a good day okay buddy, tell your brother I said hi!." You smiled and waved awkwardly with the condiments in your arms.

"I NEVER TOLD YOU I HAD A BROTHER."

Fuck.

You didn't turn around, just walked faster. from behind you you heard him yell. "BROTHER!!!

Double fuck.

 You full on ran towards your cart and dumped the stuff in your arms into it. 

Now you had two choices, either go through checkout, and buy your shit, or book it and avoid another pair of crazy skeletons.

"Heya." You jumped.

Directly behind you was, sans!

Not sans! OK, it was sans, but he was huge with a gaping whole in his skull, and a single swollen red eye... light?

This skeleton anatomy thing is hard.

Okay, technically, the could still make it to your car.

"BROTHER BE CAREFULL SHE DID NOTHING WRONG, SHE SIMPLY TOLD ME TO SAY HELLO!"

Aw sweety. "  THOUGH, SINCE YOU ARE HERE NOW, I SUPPOSE SHE COULD TELL YOU HERSELF!"

you hated him.

Screw it. "Yes, I can. Hello, good to see you." You shot them a peace sign and turned to leave. Fuck the ice cream, fuck the mustard and fuck big scary skeletons, you were out.

You nearly ran to the door. Nearly running wasn't fast enough, because not sans grabbed you by the shoulder.

Tugging.

Shit.

He twitched and then just gripped you harder. You slowly pried his fingers off of you, and slowly turn to face him. "Have a nice day. Do not follow me. I have enough skeletons to deal with as it is-" you shit your eyes and winced.

Keep your goddamn mouth shut! 

You pried an eye open, and not papyrus was bouncing ecstatically "YOU KNOW OUR FREINDS! YOU KNOW SANS!"

"I have no earthly idea who you're- LOOK ITS RED!" you pointed behind the two skeletons.

They bought it.

As soon as their eyes were off you you tried(again) to run, only to be snatched up easily from behind by not papyrus.

Yep, tugging.

He shivered, and his bones began rattling. He was shaking, uncontrollably. 

And he just held you, and wasn't putting you down. You wiggled your phone out of your pocket and selected 'mr.Rogers' in your contacts. You wrestled your phone up to your ear.

'orange.'

"What?"

'humans answer the phone with yellow so I did orange instead-'

"You know what it's not important, listen we've got a problem."

'what. They out of ketchup?'

"Well yeah, but that's not the problem."

'what do you mean not a problem-'

"Dude I met some of the 'others' you were talking about."

'shit, fuck! which ones?'

"Uuh,... nightmare before Christmas?"

'tall, scary lookin,' a hole in ones skull?'

"That'll be them."

'jus, don't let them touch you'

"yeah about that."

'hokay. I'm coming, brigin stretch.' 

Then he hung up.

"Okay big guy, this has been a very nice hug bit-"

Well that was fast. Sans and stretch were standing in front of you, somehow, perspirating.

"Hey axe, been a while hasn't it?"

"So you guys moved huh? And ya didn't think to tell us? Does everyone else know about it, huh? About her?" He jabbed a finger in your direction

Stretch stepped closer to you and not papyrus. "Okay sugar, if you'd just drop her, we can talk about this."

He squeezed You tighter. "OH NO I MUST KEEP HER, SHE IS SO VERY VERY SOFT AND WARM, AMD SHE'S MY  _SOULMATE_! I MUST KEEP HER!"

"let her down,and we can all go home and talk about this."

This is an important fact, you're all in the middle of a grocery store, and there are people around. Very horrified looking people.

"Every things okay guys!" You reassured the bystanders "well be out of here in no time and I am completely safe!" That last part was to reassure yourself. "Go on about your day!" And they did, most of them just stared.

And pulled out your phone to record you.

Great, your parents are bound to see this.

'sugar' slowly set you down, much like papyrus did, and the second your feet hit the floor he snatched up your hand and held it tight.

Nightmare or not hes  _adorable!_

'axe' snatched up your other hand, and you all short-cutted home.


	12. Ringring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BBQ tuna

"THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE WERE TRYING TO  _AVOID_ WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU LET THEM IN?" edge was seething, you could almost see the smoke bellowing out of his ears. ear holes? what ever.

you were in the skeletons house once again. they had unpacked quite a bit, and you ere now sitting on a faded green sofa. well technically, you were sitting on sugar, who was sitting on the couch, holding you like a baby, nuzzling you.

Awwwww.

"edge just calm down okay?" sans reassured him.

" CALM DOWN, YOU WANT ME TO  _CALM DOWN?"_

"no," stretch answered. " we want you to think about what would happen if blue and black found out about this."

he froze, and thought about it. 

"FAIR POINT." black had been blowing up our phone texting you and he finally called. you panicked.

"uh.. its black , what do i do what do i do?"

"answer it!"

"DON'T ANSWER IT!"

"i'm answering it!" you pressed accept on the call. "heey black whats up whatcha up to?"

'HUMAN IT HAS BEEN NINE AND A HALF HOURS SINCE YOU MESSAGED ME  **WHY AREN'T YOU HOME?** ' you pulled the phone from your ear, covered the phone speaker and whisperd to the others.

" _he wants to know were i am!"_

"tell him you got i a car accident!"

"Tell Him You're Buying Food!"

"Yoink!" axe pulled the phone from your grip and put the phone on speaker. "Heya bratberry what's up?"

If you weren't in the iron grip of a very affectionate, nuzzly skeleton, you would have scrambled to get it back. But you were, so all you could do was hiss an 'axe no!" At the accused skeleton.

"YOU MANIAC WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" Edge shot towards him to grab Your phone back, but axe easily dodged him.

'AXE? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH (Y/N)S PHONE, WHERE IS SHE!?'

"We'll get to that in a bit. So ya moved huh, and you didn't think to tell dear old axe. Honestly, my bro was devastated you'd do somethin' like that to us."

You could here someone over the phone. "WHO ARE YOU YELLING AT BLACK?" Guess what, it's blue.

"AXE IS SOMEWHERE WITH OUR HUMAN!" You winced at the sound of glass breaking in the background.

"WHAT?!" There goes your speaker.

"The fuck is she doin with him?" Reds there too.

"FIND THEM!"

"DON'T YOU THINK I'D LIKE TO?!" Axe was having the time of his life, he was laughing hysterically.

"See, I always did like you guys, but listen here's the deal, I've become quite fond of this human o' yours and I was thinkin."

"THATS A FIRST." edge hissed. Axe side glared at him.

"Either you let us have some time with dear ol' (Y/N), or I'm gonna tell everybody,  _everybody_ , where you guys are. How does that sound?"

"Axe please don't, 'jus give me my phone back-"

"SHHHHHH" sugar placed a gigantic hand over your mouth. "THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. LET MY BROTHER WORK."

"Give-gimmie the phone-give it!" You could hear red on the other side of he phone. "Okay fine you can hang out with her, just tell us where you are! And do not touch her!"

"It's not me you gotta worry about. My bro hasn't let her go since we got here. It's adorable really, you should come see, we're at your place."

Red instantly hung up the phone and all three skeletons collapsed into the living room.

Blue and black were vibrating containing themselves, and red was sweating.

"Blue call pap tell him we found her." Without saying a word, blue pulled out his phone and dialed Papyrus's number, all while vibrating and glaring up at sugar.

"HEY, YEAH PAPYRUS, WE-, YEAH BUT WE FOUND HER ALREADY. WE'RE AT HOME. YEAH THE WHOLE TIME. OKAY. OKAY HURRY." He hung up. "THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY." He twitched.

 "SO, NOW THAT MOST OF US ARE HERE, I THINK WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THIS SERIOUS LACK OF CONTACT YOU ALL HAVE WITH OUR HUMAN!"

Sugar spoke from above you, that was just his normal voice, but it was enough to make you sink into him, trying to escape his volume.

"ONLY TWO OF YOU HAS HER CONTACT INFORMATION, WHAT IF MY BROTHER WASN'T FEELING AS LENIANT AS HE WAS TODAY? SHE'D BE IN A BASEMENT SOMEWHERE!"

Totally called it.

"IF YOU'RE ALL NOT GOING TO TAKE PROPER CARE OF HER THEN WE MAY JUST HAVE TO TAKE HER WITH US."

axe raised his hand. "I'm cool with that."

"Shut it." Stretch snatched your phone from him. "She's staying. But they're not completely wrong."

From behind you you heard the thud of boots on the ground.

"Shit." Russ and papyrus were here, "axe found her huh?"

"WE LET YOU OUT OF YOUR SIGHT FOR ONE DAY AND YOU'VE ALREADY GOTTEN INTO TROUBLE!"

"wha- I went to get  _ketchup_ how was I supposed to know this was gonna happen?"

"MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T GO ANYWHERE ANYMORE! JUST STAY HOME!" Black walked over to you and pulled on sugars arm."LET HER GO YOU OAF! SHES SUFFOCATING!"

"What, no I'm not-"

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE SUFFOCATING!"

You were actually quite comfy, you hadn't been held like this in a while and you felt relaxed. Just a little longer and you'd fall asleep.

"Okay, chill guys, listen, I'm fine! They haven't hurt me have they?"

"NOT YET ANYWAY."

"Edge, shut up. How about you all give me your phone numbers, that way something like this doesn't happen again. I'll call you if I see some more skeletons and then you can come get me!"

"totally."

"GREAT IDEA!"

"Yeah."

"Im in."

"GIVE IT!" 

 "Yeah okay."

"I'D LIKE THAT!"

You sat up straight in sugars lap and gesture for stretch to hand you your phone.

"Let's do this!"

\-----------------------

**BigGuy**

**mr.Rogers**

**YesPlease**

**ItsAsknotAxe**

**Skeletor**

**MustardDog**

**Tea**

**Pupper**

**Orageisthenewblack**

**PastaMasta**

Guess who's who ;)

You stared at the new contacts in your phone. You never thought you'd have to add so many in such a short amount of time.

You had eventually convinced sugar to let you go and you were laying over him an axe sloppily, who was raking his head in and out of your hair.

everyone was chill now, chatting and surfing their phones. A real modern family.

"Hey guys, check this out." Russ sat up on the floor, next to the couch. "(Y/N)s famous."

You turned your head towards the video on his screen.

You recognized 3, no 4 skeletons, axe, sans, stretch and sugar. And there you were, being held in midair by him in the middle of a grocery store.

"Yeah she's all over the place. There are even memes of it." Stretch scrolled through his phone and giggled.

That's one check off your bucket list, you always wanted to be a meme.

 **"** MY SOULMATES FAMOUS!!" Blue clapped excitedly.

Then your phone rings.

The text 'BirthedMe' was displayed over the screen.

"Shit!" You sat up between axe and sugar. "It's my mom, all of you do not say a thing!" Everyone nodded, and you answered the phone.

"Hey mom! How are you? How's dad?"

'Dear god honey are you okay!?! Your father and I saw that video of you being attacked by all those monsters!'

"Mom I'm fine they weren't attacking me,-"

'but one of them was restraining you!'

"They weren't restraining me mom, we were, hugging!"

'that had to be the most uncomfortable hug I've ever seen!'

"Then you've never been hugged by aunt Janey." you mumbled

'i can't hear you dear.'

"I said How's dad?"

'ah yes, hes having Rachel book the flight!'

"Flight for what?"

'oh! After seeing that video your father and I decided we haven't seen you in a while, so we're coming to visit we should be there by tomorrow afternoon!!'

ShitshitSHIT!

"Mom no you can't now I'm busy with, STUDIES!"

'oh you can take a little break for your parents! How's Malcolm doing anyway? You're always so cute together!'

You blushed, "hes at work right now mom, listen you can't come-"

'oh shush, I can do whatever I please, you had better have a nice young man for us to meet when we arrive! and we're bringing Tito!'

noooo! Tito was your your sisters stepson, and your parents absolutely adored him. it all worked out because your sister, mia, was always on vacation somewhere with her husband 'damond", some rich business man who had been married three times already.

Tito was twelve years old, nosy, and as stuck up as your father. and he swore up and down when he was old enough he'd-

Get this,

Since he was 7 years old he promised that he'd marry you once he was old enough. He was a kid, you thought he'd grow out of it eventually. But year after year after year he never changed his mind, every time he saw you he'd ask you again if you'd marry him.

_dude, you're twelve_

was what you told him last time. He didn't care though,

 _ill have you eventually!_ he'd always say.

"Mom-"

'kisses dear, I've got to go, helping Your father sign off for another mall, love you darling, bye!!'

"Momwait- god fucking-" you exhaled heavily. 

"WHAT WAS ALL THAT ABOUT?" papyrus was rocking on the carpet..

You looked around nervously and shot everyone finger guns. "Who's ready to meet the parents?"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to make memes of this :)


	13. In which red and edge are brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because edge takes things too literally  
> And red can't just fukin wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for leaving for like six months but writer's block and depression tag teamed me and I wasn't prepared. Still no esxuses I should be back now.

"you are not allowed to come into my house while my parents are here! I don't know about my mom but my dad would make me move back home if they found out I lived next to the Same monsters who 'attacked' me."

 

Edge just wanted one opportunity to speak to you but something always had to happen. You've barely even spoken to him! This was his soulmate too, he wants to spend time with you!

 

"HOW COME MALCOLM GETS TO STAY?" You shoved him out of your front door. Apparently your parents were supposed to be showing up in a few hours and they were not fully pro-monster.

 

"Because they like him and won't have him arrested! Now get! I'll have them check into a hotel and then come get you."

 

"YOU'LL COME GET ME FIRST?"

 

"Yes I'll come get you first, edge now get!  I've got to get dressed! Bye! Later! Love ya!" 

 

You shoved him out and slammed the door.

 

Love? Edge blushed a bright crimson.

 

"LOVE?!" Blue yelled at the door.

 

"aw that's so not fair."

 

Black began clawing at your front door. "(Y/N) I DEMAND YOU OPEN THIS DOOR AND TELL MEYOULOVEME!" Russ pried black off your door and edge walked away with him briskly.

 

He hurried quickly to his house, trying to suppress a giddy smile.

 

"I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT! YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO REDEEMING QUALITIES!" Papyrus unlocked the front door, and edge immediately escaped to the security of his room.

 

Love? 

 

Love. 

 

"Nyeh, hehehehehehehehe" he collapsed onto his bed and let a full smile take over his skull.

 

That made him your favorite right? He wanted to know, to ask you, but what would he do after that? He didn't know anything about love, about courting someone! He may talk all confident like but no one had ever actually showed any interest in him.

 

Should he say it back? Should you mate? What would others think? Did he want kids? Did you? Would he be a good father? He bet you'd bear him powerful children.

 

Was he moving too fast? 

 

He had so many questions.

 

He covered his blushing face and rolled around in his bed.

 

He stared up at the ceiling, spread out over his sheets.

 

Okay, he needed to compose himself. edge took a few deep breaths and sat still in his bed. then immediately broke down into uncontrollable giggles, rolling across his bed. he wasn't used to this feeling, this bubbly, dizzy giddy feeling.

 

he felt like papyrus.

 

he _loved_   it!

 

"b-boss?" edge stopped short to find his brother in his doorway, staring him down in concern.

 

"YOU IDIOT CLOSE THE DOOR!" edge bellowed,"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN STANDING THERE!" 

 

"well, y'know, long enough to be worried, what the _hell_ wazzat?” red gestures vaguely at edges bed, closing the door behind him as he steps into the room.

 

“YOU'VE SEEN NOTHING!” edge demands, pointing a gloved finger at his brother.”WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

 

“heard some thupin’ around up here so i came to make sure ya hadn’t broken anything, seriously what the _fuck_ was that?” red gestures again, moving towards his brother.

 

edge in turn turns away from him, ars and legs crossed on his bed, his skull an unimaginable shade of scarlet “I-I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT!”

 

red leans across the bed, attempting to look his brother in the face, only for him to turn his head farther away from him. “like hell you dont!” red yells, moving his skull to where edge had moved it, catching a glimpse of edges frazzled state before edge whipped his head in the opposite direction, trying his hardest to avoid his brothers gaze.

 

a smile finds its way to reds face when he witness edges demeanor. ‘ _oh this is priceless!’_  

 

“ya was rollin around yer bed giggilin’ an’ shit, i saw ya-”

“I WAS NOT! NO YOU DIDN’T, Shut Up!” 

 

red collapsed onto edges bed as he convulses with uncontrollable laughter as edge whines and buries his skull in the palms of his hands trying desperately cover his intensely flushed face.

 

“STOP LAUGHING! THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS!” edge emerges from the safety of his gloves only to smack his brother on the head.

 

“nawwww, heh, you look so cute, heheh, blushing’ an’ shit “ red teases when his laughter died down enough for him to form a coherent sentence. “oh my _god_ you're bright red!”

 

“SHUT UP!”

 

“whus gotcha all fucked up any way?” red giggles, his breathing still heavy from the laughter.

 

edge stares at his brother a moment, his sockets wide, before looking down at his gloves, his skull flushing impossibly further, and  barely opening his jaw and whispering.

 

“what? didn’t hear ya bro”

 

edge took a deep breath and yelled at the top of his (quite non-existent) lungs, “Y/N TOLD ME SHE LOVED ME!” a crash could be heard the second the words left his mouth.

 

“ _we know!”_

_“STOP BRAGGING!”_

 

Russ and papyrus yell from downstairs, edge and red wince simultaneously

 

“she did not” red questions in disbelief, sockets wide as he searches his brothers face for any type of lie “yer lyin’ she did not”

 

‘‘I'm Not” edge replies, his giddy grin returning full force as he stares his brother in the eye “I’m Not Lying, She Did!”

 

a second of silence passed between them before flops backwards onto the bed, releasing a heavy sigh.

 

red leaves his brother alone with you for 5 minutes and he gets a fucking confession. (despite the fact that it wasn’t really a confession, but neither of them knew that.)

 

“boss, bro, pap, ya’know i love ya and all, but that's bullshit.” red slips off of edge’s bed, storming out of the bedroom door. he was heading oer to your house, because _fuck_ your parents, _fuck_ the other skeletons livingin this goddamed house, he wants to feel loved too.

 

“SANS, STOP, YOU _IDIOT_ WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!” edge trips over himself attempting to catch up with his (for whatever reason) angry brother.

 

“where the fuck do you think im going?” red shoots back as he treads down the stairs, stopping when he reaches the living room where russ and stretch gave him a quizzical look from the top of the back of the couch. edge appears behind him, a bead of sweat running down his skull.

 

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO LOOKING AT?” he snaps, and both skeletons collapse back onto the cushions. red continues marching through the house, to the front door, and off towards your home. “SANS I DEMAND YOU STOP THIS INSTANT!”

 

“Fuck you! I do what i want!”

 

“SANS STOP, HER PARENTS! HER STEP COUSIN!”

 

“Fuck herparents! I ain't leavin till she tells me she loves me!”

 

“SANS YOU IMBECILE!” red kicks your front door  ashad as he possibly can, earning a ruckus from behind it. a few seconds of clatering and yelling and the door finally opends.

 

red grimaces. “ oh..it's you.”  standing in the doorway was malcolm, his hair gelled back and clothes pressed smooth, a soft blue button down, blak slacks and a white and blue striped tie.

 

“nice to see you too, wheres Y/n?”

 

“getting dressed, we thought you were her parents-- why am I telling you this?”

 

“OH GOD YOU'RE WHIPPED!” edge stands behind his red, having finally caught up with his lazy-but-inexplicably-fast-brother. edge looks malcolm up and down, pointing a finger and failing to suppress a snicker at is attire. “YOU LOOK LIKE A MOB BOSS REJECT, IM SO SORRY FOR YO--”

 

“FUCK!” malcolm pulls edge into he house by his lanky arm, and grabs red by the fluff of his jacket, pulling him in as well, slamming the door behind them. 

 

“the fuck, what gives?!”

 

“they’re here!” malcolm trots over to the front window and peers out, sure enough two midnight purple limousines pull into the driveway. he then looks at red, then edge, then red again, “FUCK! if y/n” finds out I let you in shes gonna _kill_ me! why are you even here in the first place, she told you you're not allowed over here while her parents are visiting!”

 

“i gotta talk with her about something.”

 

“it couldn't have waited?!” malcolm hisses. red shrugs.

 

“malcolm? who are you talking to?” 

 

 _fuck_. “No one! er, yer parents just pulled up!” malcolm yells as he ushers edge and red out of the front hall, through the living room, up the stairs and around the corner, shoving them into a closet. “stay here you idiots! don't come out until i say so! a you” malcolm shaves a finger into edges fae “keep quiet!” he hisses.

 

edges eye socket twitches. _who the hell does this scrawny human think he is to order him around!_ edge was 2 seconds away from ripping this guys head off before he slammed and..locked? the closet door, leaving only the light from the crack at the bottom of the door.

 

red _could_ always just port them out of there, but he had a feeling it would be much more interesting this way.

 

“hey boss.”

 

“What?”

 

“whaddya say we crash this little family reunion?” red looks up at his brother, his red eye lights illuminating the evil smirk plastered across his smirk.

 

edge quirks a brow, “That, Is Not A Horrible Idea Brother.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip all the glass in this story


	14. skeletons in the closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> malcolm cant lie to you,  
> and you can be assertive when you want to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we dont have to touch, we dont have t dance, we dont hae to smile, we dont hae to make freinds.

Hair done? check

uncomfortable, form fitting dress? check

~~no will to live? check.~~

~~seriously contemplating murder? triple check.~~

you were currently sitting stark straight in a deep maroon over the shoulder dress that (generously) hugged your body and put the shape of it on full display. this is ridiculous. all this for a visit from your own _family._ you'd think you wouldn't have to try and impress them, well, you thought wrong.

 

“Oh dear im so glad to see you again!” your mother fusses with your hair beside you on your baby blue sofa, your father in the arm chair across from you. “so much has happened since you left! have you heard from your sister lately?”

 

you think for a moment, placing a finger to your mouth condescending as your mother re does the braid on the left side of your head for the third time. “as a matter of fact, I haven't, last time we talked was when she was going off with _damond_.” you try your best to suppress your palpable distaste of your brother in law, thankfully, your parents don't notice.

 

your father tsks, “we've gotten word that their relationship isnt going too well” (not surprised) “seems he isn't nearly as faithful as he appeared. we've had to hire lawyers to discuss the matter of their divorce-”

 

“only the best dear!” your mother chimes in.

 

“yes darling, only the best. We were wondering if you'd be opposed to your sister staying with you while we settle the matter.” geez, there making it sound like its not as important as a divorce. they've been married what, 6 months? and it's already over.

 

you were not _opposed_ to the idea of having your sister stay here, but you weren't exactly too keen on it either. you didn't have the worst relationship with mia, you two just didn't really know each other as sisters. it would be like having a stranger in the house.

 

not to mention the skeletons…

 

yeah, no she can't stay with you.

 

“um, I don't hate the idea, but, why can't she stay with you guys?”

 

“well she could” your mother starts. “but your father and I are going on a business trip in europe for a few months, company officials only.” your mother finally gives up on her braid, undoing it completely and leaving a slightly disturbed section of hair where she had been messing around with it.

 

“it would only be a few months dearest.” you're father adds.

 

your eye twitches. you were so glad you didnt have to depend on them nearly as much as mia did,... though they did give you all the money you have, (note to self, get a job, just incase.)

 

“the whole ordeal has been so hard on tito, little beans been spouting nonsense like, ‘im glad they're getting a divorce’ and ‘i hope i never see her again,’ ever since it started!” your mother shakes her head ‘sympathetically’

 

you think for a second

 

...didn't they say they were bringing that little brat.

 

“hey where is tito any way--”

 

a loud crash and a scream can be heard from upstairs, and malcolm (who had been, up until that point, sitting awkwardly on the other side if you and saying absolutely nothing.) shot from his seat on the couch and bolted up the stairs, to which you followed, dress hindering you movements drastically. you turned a corner to find malcolm kneeling next to a sobbing tito (jeez kid, you're twelve, grow up a bit) and coats strewn across the hallway floor, the closet door wide open.

 

“bro, what happened?!” you drop to your knees to look tito in the face, and he bawls harder, burying his head into the crook of your neck. 

 

remember, you hate this kid. “shhh’ calm down, its okay man, what happened, what was all that noise?”

 

tito attempts to speak through choked sobs (this is the wimpiest twelve year old kid you've ever met.) “There- wassometing inthecloset,-

and it jumped out at- a me!”

 

(at this point, the kid wasn't even really trying I was all forced tears so you wouldn't let him go, only malcolm noticed.)

 

you stared at the now very empty closet as your parents turn the corner to find you, malcolm and tito staring at the closet.

 

“whats going on here?!” asks your father as your mother pries a still sniveling tito from your arms.

 

“lil man sais there was something in the closet.” you try to stand, failing miserably, reaching your arms up to malcolm in a plea for help, but before he could help you up you practically throw onto your feet by an invisible force.

 

welp never mind i guess.

 

you turn to see a wide eyed malcolm, his hair sort of coming loose from the gell hed applied to it, his forehead slick with sweat, moth pressed into a thin line.

 

you knew that face well enough.

well enough to know when something was wrong.

or when he was keeping something from you.

 

you place a hand on his shoulder and grip him tightly, and when he turns, his face pales.

 

you're wearing a sweet smile that could only mean death for him “Malcolm! why dontcha come help me in the kitchen,yeah?” he knew it wasn't really a question. he's so dead.

 

“yeah sure.” he answers, following your rigid (but quite attractive) (wait what) form down the stairs and into the large kitchen.

 

you stared out the kitchen window for a few moments, hands clasped in front of your mouth before turning to malcolm and leaning on the counter behind you, a smile on your face. why would you deceive him with such a _sweet_ smile?

 

“comere” you curl your finger in a beckoning motion, and malcolm approaches you, but still stays a good distance away.

 

“Malcolm, _come here._ ” he takes a few more steps so he's standing right in front of you, staring down at his feet so he doesn't have to stare at you (death) in the face.

 

before he can register it you grab him by the collar and pull him down to your level. forcing him to look you in the eye, your sweet smile gone, replaced with a barely contained anger.

 

it's rare you ever got like this, but when you did, it was always best for the subject of your displeasure to run as fast as they could. (and though malcolm would never admit it to your face, he did find it kind of attractive)

 

“I know you know something about this.” malcolm looks way from you, a blush creeping up his neck. 

 

“I don't know what youre talking about-” you yanked him harder, your faces now close enough to feel each other's breath on your skin. you had to fight your own blush for the sake of getting the truth out of your best friend.

 

“stop lying to me malcolm, _what the hell is going on?”_

 

“i-i dunno!” he says, lifting his hands defensively. you stare him right in his _beautiful green eyes-_ (oi! focus!) you stay like that for what felt like hours to malcolm, until he finally cracked.

 

“ok I locked red and edge in the closet because they wouldnt leave and yourparentspulledupandifreakedoutanddidntknowwhatodoimsorry forlying,donthateme-”

 

you stand on the tips of your toes and place a small kiss to malcolms forehead. “chill bro, I don't hate you. thanks for telling me the truth.” you smile up at him, a real smile this time, and you release his shirt. 

 

you turn back to the kitchen window, completely oblivious to malcolm's raging blush behind you.

 

you were all too focused on how the hell you were gonna get your parents to leave to you could find the skeletons who had taken it upon themselves to turn your house into a haunted one.

 

“y/n dear! your father and I have decided to leave for the day, poor titos too afraid to say in this house!” your mother yells from the living room.

 

perfect! thanks author!

 

(no problem, i do what i can)

 

“Okay mom, i'll be out to escort you to your cars in just a second!” you turn to malcolm and smile “find them for me, Yeah?”

 

malcolm nods.

 

God he loved you.

 

wait what.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wench, ha! for why art thou angry? because mine own pussy pops severly, and yours does not?
> 
> Hers an annoying angry link for those of you who want to buy me a coffee
> 
> .bmc-button img{width: 27px !important;margin-bottom: 1px !important;box-shadow: none !important;border: none !important;vertical-align: middle !important;}.bmc-button{line-height: 36px !important;height:37px !important;text-decoration: none !important;display:inline-flex !important;color:#ffffff !important;background-color:#BB5794 !important;border-radius: 3px !important;border: 1px solid transparent !important;padding: 1px 9px !important;font-size: 22px !important;letter-spacing: 0.6px !important;box-shadow: 0px 1px 2px rgba(190, 190, 190, 0.5) !important;-webkit-box-shadow: 0px 1px 2px 2px rgba(190, 190, 190, 0.5) !important;margin: 0 auto !important;font-family:'Cookie', cursive !important;-webkit-box-sizing: border-box !important;box-sizing: border-box !important;-o-transition: 0.3s all linear !important;-webkit-transition: 0.3s all linear !important;-moz-transition: 0.3s all linear !important;-ms-transition: 0.3s all linear !important;transition: 0.3s all linear !important;}.bmc-button:hover, .bmc-button:active, .bmc-button:focus {-webkit-box-shadow: 0px 1px 2px 2px rgba(190, 190, 190, 0.5) !important;text-decoration: none !important;box-shadow: 0px 1px 2px 2px rgba(190, 190, 190, 0.5) !important;opacity: 0.85 !important;color:#ffffff !important;}[](https://www.buymeacoffee.com/4fIPod7sD)Buy me a coffee


	15. a little problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you find a little suprise in your bedroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i the program i write these on, every time theres a word in all caps it starts a new 'section' of the text, so any time edge or paps or blue speaks it adds a new tab and i love it.

red was wondering how hed scored someone as _fucking gorgeous_ as you. your hair down cascading around your shoulders (mm, dem shoulders doe) and the red dress that showed _every intricate_ _detail_ of your body. And yeah, _maybe_ he watched you chew out your friend earlier in the kitchen (he dind know how you hadn't noticed him, he was right there.)

 

sure you were _supposed_ to look angry, but it didn't come off that way to red. you were _supposed_ to be angry, but you just looked…

 

hot.

 

_so fucking hot._

 

it almost made red jealous of the malcolm guy. what he would've given to be in his place.

 

“-Are you even listening to me!” red looked up to you beautiful scowling face “i told you guys i'd come get you when they left! you couldn't wait three hours to ask me a question?”

 

“nah, not really.”

 

“I TOLD HIM NOT TO AND HE TOTALLY IGNORED ME, IT'S HIS FAULT!” edge whines and points a finger at his brother.

 

“that's not what you said when we were locked in that closet!”

 

“NOT FAIR! YOU ROPED ME INTO IT! YOU TRICKED ME! I OUGHT TO--”

 

“OI!” you yell and they stop arguing. you inhale deeply before raising a single hand to edge, who eyes i quizzically. “gimme some!!!” you yell with a goofy smile plastered across your face.

 

“..WHAT.”

 

“up top edge, you gave that little brat what he deserved and scared my parents away!” you're excitement does not register with him, and you can practically see the buffering icon on his forehead, so you instead hop up and hug him tightly around the neck,(or at least where it would be)  your legs dangling slightly,(a lot) for you are no match for edges height.

 

he stumbles a bit, but catches himself, and hastily wraps his arms around your waist.

 

you let go and turn to a jealous scowling red and scoop him into a tight hug, nuzzling the top of his head. “you guys may have entered my house against my orders, but you've scared away my parents! and for that, I thank you!” you set red down and bow dramatically.

 

red blinks in disbelief. “wait, so we're not in trouble?”

 

“pff, of course not, the sooner they left the sooner I can get outta this goddamn dress!” you happily make your way to the stairs, and red and edge cry a silent ‘noooooooooo’ as you go to change out of that death trap.

 

“I can't believe you guys got away with that.” malcolm collapses on the living room floor, hair now completely disheveled, shirt long forgotten. “she would have chewed me out for _hours_ had it been me.”

 

edge smirks “YES, BECAUSE SHE LIKES _US_ MORE”

 

malcolm looks up at edges smug skull “that's bullshit and you know it.”

 

“ _WHAT THE FUCK!?_ ” 

 

red was in your room before you could say mustard seed, magic prepared to attack or defend, anything to keep you safe.

 

you were sitting on your bedroom floor, your pants discarded across the room and…

 

mOVING?

 

ho fuCK NO

 

“HUMAN Y/N WHAT IS THE MATTER?” edge was right behind red in a single instant, his magic levels matching that of his brothers as preparation for the probable threat, malcolm b his side.

 

“wuss wrong”

 

“what's the matter?”

 

“hujsgfhjs!”

 

“WHAT?”

 

you inch towards the _definitely moving_ pair of jeans, red only noticing you were trying to uncover whatever was the subject of the ensuing chaos (as if we haven't had enough of _that_ as it is.)

 

edge swifty grabbed you around the waist and pulled you against, him,your legs dangling noticeably.

 

“WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING!?!” 

 

“yeah, the fuck, dont touch it!”

 

“but i-”

 

“WE CAN'T LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR FIVE SECONDS WITHOUT YOU GETTING INTO TROUBLE!” edge was seriously considering keeping you tied up somewhere so you'd stay out of harm's way.

 

half the skeletons where perfectly on board with it already, it was only your dumb house mate keeping you from being tied up in a basement somwhere. (say it often enough and it just might happen)

 

“but-”

 

“HUSH!”

 

edge securely pinned you to his side, your (quote pantsless, but don't worry, your shirt is long enough to cover anything you'd want to hide (; )body hanging limp like a rag doll as malcolm carefully made his way towards the wriggling piece of fabric.

 

“you guys are the ones with the magic and shit, why am I the one investigating?”

 

“if you guys would just listen to me-”

 

“nobody told ya ta do it, ya dumbass decided to!”

 

“then get your bony ass over here and help me!”

 

“fUCK no!”

 

“alright then!” malcolm stopped, and leaned so his left leg was straight behind him, the front one bent in front of him as he slowly reached towards the pair of jeans.

 

“OH WOULD YOU HURRY UP! STOP STALLING!”

 

“okay i just want you to know before you guys go all guns ablazin’ on this thing, I don't think this is necessary!” you waved your hands in a vain attempt to calm the boys down. “i just freaked out a bit, it's not even that big of a deal, just a surprise is all!”

 

malcolm tore the jeans from the carpet, throwing it behind him and narrowly missing edges skull, much to his displeasure.

 

sitting where the pants previously, was a tiny, sobbing….

 

“sans?” malcolm looked between red and edge as if he couldn't believe his eyes. the magic in the room dissipated, replaced with a cloud of confusion.

 

“WHAT”

 

“The”

 

“hell.”

 

you wriggled out of edges grip, landing face first before pushing yourself into a sitting position, laying your eyes upon the tiny sans to study him

 

it was straight up just, sans, blue sweater, same black basketball shorts, though he was missing a pair of tiny pink slippers on his adorable skeletal feet. (you'd have to fix that later) he was balling his (nonexistent) eyes out, blue tears running down his adorable little cheeks, wimpers escaping him in a way that could melt the coldest of hearts.

 

and you possibly had the warmest heart imaginable, so seeing this tiny little angel in pain boke it into pieces.

 

“ _aaaaaaaawwww”_

 

before you could stop yourself, (or any one around you could stop you, and you know they tried) you crawled over to him on your hands and knees, lying on your stomach when you finally reach him, lying your head in your arms.

 

“wussa matter lil guuuy?” you cooed trying your best to comfort him without making direct physical contact.

 

“DISGUSTING.”

 

(jealous much)

 

“shut up edge.”

 

and it seems your efforts were wasted, because the second you were close enough he latched onto your face, covering it easily, about the size of a small cat. your chest tugged, and as it did he pressed his tiny skeletal forehead into yours. 

 

fuck avoiding contact now.

 

you pull your arms from under you and bring it around the tiny sans, hugging him as best you can with his size and your position, slowly sitting up as to not let him fall.

 

when you finally sit up straight, he's in your hands, and he was crying into your neck as you held him.

 

“its okay tiny, its fine, you'll be okay.”

 

“Well now what?” malcolm asks, sitting on his knees in front of you and tiny(?)

 

“thats the wrong fukin’ question, you _should_ be asking what the hell hat thing is!”

 

“FOR ONCE MY BROTHER IS CORRECT!”

 

“Don't be rude!” you snuggled tiny closer your body, he's beginning to calm now, his tears drying and only slight sniffles and shivering the only sign he had been crying at all. “ _I_ personally think we should ask him why he was nearly drowning in his own tears!”

 

“THAT IS IF HE CAN SPEAK AT ALL.” edge rolls his eyelights and crosses arms, pouting.

 

after your parents left you were supposed to spend time with _him_ , but he only gets jipped _again!_ why was the universe so cruel and unfair?

 

 (wouldn't we all like to know.)

 

“icanspeak.” tiny squeaked out, barely audible with his entire face trying to sink into your skin.

 

“great.” red fell to the ground dramatically, and lay on his back, facing the ceiling. “then answer the fukin’ question.”

 

“yeah tiny, what are you doing in my room bawling your eye holes out for?”

 

you lifted him to face you a bit, and he reluctantly pulled away to look you in the face.

 

“i-i can't find my brother.” he shook slightly, his face threatening to start spewing tears again.”t-the door was open so we came in and then i got lost and i can't find ‘im an’ i don't know where he is and im scared and worried and I was so alone and what if he's hurt what if hes-”

 

“hey, hey he's fine! he's not hurt! hes okay, you're okay, and we’re gonna find him!”

you stand on your feet, tiny still in your arms and walk over to your bed, rifling around in the messy sheets for your phone (no point in making it if you're gonna sleep in it tonight anyway).

 

you finally find it, and select ‘tea’ in your contacts, and putting your phone to your ear.

 

it barely rang once before blueberry picked up, voice high and exited.

 

and very, _very_ loud.

 

“HUMAN!” you wince and pull the phone away from your face.

 

“hey blue, whats up!”

 

“NOTHING REALLY, DISCUSSING PUZZLE CONSTRUCTION WITH PAPYRUS WHILE WE WAIT FOR YOUR PARENTS TO LEAVE! HOW ABOUT YOU?”

 

“welp, my parents are gone, and i uh, kind need your help, you and papy-”

 

the phone disconnected.

 

 you bring the screen to your eyes to see that he had, in fact, hung up on you.

 

“WELL THAT'S JUST RUDE.”

 

“you're no one to talk about rude.” malcolm throws at edge.

 

“NONSENSE! I ONLY OFFER CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM AT ANY POSSIBLE CHANCE!”

 

“well here's some constructive criticism for you, _shove it_!”

 

“WHO THE _HELL_ DO YOU THINK YOU ARE--”

 

before edge could finish his sentence blueberry slides heroically into you bedroom doorway with a heroic ‘mweh hehehe!’ before being completely toppled by papyrus barreling in directly behind them.

 

you suppress a giggle as blue and pap lay sprawled on the floor, tangled on each other's limbs as they try to scramble to their feet.

 

“Y/N!”

 

“ARE YOU OKAY?”

 

“WHAT'S WRONG?”

 

“WHY IS EDGE HERE?”

 

“ARE YOU HURT?”

 

“no no, guys, im fine! calm down!” you approach pap and blue and assure them of your safety. “but this little guy,” you look down at the skeleton who has effectively nuzzled himself into your neck once again “needs our help.”

  
  
  


…………………………………………………………….

  
  


you (quite comically) paced back and forth in front of pap, blue, and (surprisingly) edge. you all had now moved into the living room, red and malcolm on the sofa, pap blue and (again, surprisingly) edge sat on your living room floor paying close attention to anything you said.

 

“we are on a mission to locate and secure one tiny papyrus, brother of this little angel here!” you point to your head, were tiny now laid comfortably, slowly dozing off. he was ruining your hair a bit but you didn't notice, or care.

 

(talk about bed head)

 

“we must safely capture them, make sure _absolutely no harm is done to them,_ and meet back at the rendezvous point (your bedroom) once he is found! we shall stay in contact the _entire time!_ if anything develops you will rally it to me immediately!”

 

being distant with your only sibling, you were never really given the chance to get up and ‘play’ like this, and now as you are an adult, and still very much a child, an opportunity to get together with people and have any kind of bonding fun really excites you.

 

“ready?” you yell, and all three energetic skeletons shoot to their feet,

 

“BREAK!” and you were all heading in different directions in an attempt to find the missing skeleton.

 

red ran a hand down his skull “i need a fukin’ nap.”

 

Malcolm sighs. “for once, i agree with you.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enough tears to rival izuku himself


End file.
